Top 7 Wedding Tasks for Moms

Modern ways your mom and mother-in-law can contribute to the wedding plans (without crossing any boundaries).

It’s Mom to the rescue with today’s wedding plans! She and Dad might not be paying for the entire wedding, so today’s mother of the bride or groom is finding new ways to get involved and save you money, time, and sanity.

Here’s what the savvy MOB and MOG are taking on:

1. Working Their Networks. Mom is really well-connected! Through her friend circles, work community, volunteering cliques, and social networking friends, she may know someone (who works in a floral shop, bakery, photography studio, or jewelry store) who loves her enough to grant her a "friends and family wedding discount" for you. Or perhaps she has in-the-know contacts who can point you to the best pros in town.

2. Providing Guest List Support. Moms protect you from guest list faux pas, such as inviting Mr. and Mrs. Jones when they actually got divorced three years ago or spelling your cousin's children's names incorrectly on the invitation. Enlist her help rounding up current addresses and the names of your relatives' plus ones.

3. Offering Her Tastes. Today’s mom is often invited to attend the VIP foodie-fest that helps you select your menu options, including your cake. It's a sweet way to make her feel involved!

4. Helping With the Bridal Shower. Some still feel that moms shouldn't be the main host (according to traditional etiquette), but they’re now joining in with the bridesmaids and maid of honor to help put together an amazing shower for you. They can contribute funds or come up with fun details to rescue your cash-strapped and time-crunched bridesmaids, who are all too happy to get her assistance (provided she’s a team-player and not a steamroller mom who doesn’t let them get a word in!).

5. Styling Themselves. Moms are fashion-forward and style-savvy, so they’re consulting with stylists and choosing amazing gowns and dresses. The days of "wear beige" are over – unless it’s a really incredible designer beige dress! – and brides are making it a Girls’ Day Out to help mom pick her wedding day outfit.

6. Planning Their Own Parties. It might be the rehearsal dinner or the morning-after breakfast where they use all of their own great ideas, themes, menu plans, décor dazzle, and more. A new trend now is for the moms to plan their own after-parties for their friends and close relatives: You go off to party with your crowd, and Mom can party with hers.

7. De-Stressing the Bride. It used to be that moms caused a lot of wedding stress, but their role has become a lot more fun and relaxed than it used to be. They’re taking the tense bride out for mani/pedis, planning movie nights, working out with the bride, and listening to her vent without being judgmental. Moms are there for the bride like never before.

10 Wedding Etiquette Mistakes Most Don't Know

1. You're not including the wedding location on your save-the-date card.
Even if you and your fiancé are from the same hometown and still live there now, there's no guarantee that the wedding will take place in that same location. Avoid having 100 people asking you, "Where's the wedding?" by including the city and state on your save-the-date (no need to put the actual venue at this stage). Many of your guests will still have to travel and possibly book overnight accommodations so give them a heads as a courtesy.

2. You're choosing a less convenient date or time.
As weddings have grown more expensive, it’s not surprising that more couples are opting to get married on a Friday or Sunday rather than the high-priced Saturday night. But there’s a reason Saturday is the most popular day for weddings to take place — with Friday weddings, your guests either need to take the day off work, leave work early, or skip your ceremony altogether and just attend the reception. With Sunday weddings, unless it’s a holiday weekend, guests won’t be able to let loose as much as they’d like, and many will leave early to get a good night’s sleep before the work week begins again.

If you choose Friday, start your ceremony later — perhaps 7 or 8 p.m. And if you opt for Sunday, consider an afternoon ceremony with the reception ending by 9 or 10 p.m. (you can have an informal after-party back at the hotel for guests who do want to party all night).

3. You're not making clear-cut lines on who’s invited and who’s not.

There are certain groups you generally can’t break; even if you see some of your aunts and uncles a few times a month and others a few times a decade, you really should include all (or none) out of fairness.

Regarding “plus ones,” the general rule is that couples who are married, engaged, or living together must be invited together, even if you haven’t met your friend’s significant other. After that, it gets a little less clear-cut. Some couples give a plus one to singles over 18. Others decide to include dates for anyone in a relationship, while others draw the line at just couples who have been together for a year or more. Whatever you decide, consistency is key. The exception is your bridal party members — if you can swing it, allow your single bridesmaids and groomsmen to invite dates if they choose to do so.

4. You're putting a false start time on the invitation.

If you’re planning to walk down the aisle at 7 p.m., the time on your invitation should be 7 p.m. Don’t leave your guests waiting just because you want to make sure no one misses your grand entrance. Most guests know better than to show up right at the invite time anyway, so if you put 6:30 for a 7 o'clock ceremony, some of your guests could be waiting around for as long as an hour before you begin.

5. You're using pre-printed labels on the invitation.

Your invitation sets the tone for your wedding — and that starts with the envelope. Now, we’re not saying you need to hire a calligrapher, but it adds such a personal touch to hand write the addresses. Perhaps ask a friend or relative with nice handwriting to help out. Or, try this calligraphy cheat: Using a fancy font in a very light gray, run each envelope through your printer, and then trace over the printed address using a calligraphy pen. Your guests will never know your secret!

6. You're sending an invitation to someone who already told you she can’t attend.

After receiving your save-the-date, your friend tells you that she’ll be out of town and can't make it to your wedding. When it’s time to send your invitations, skip mailing one to this person — sending when you know she can’t attend gives off a “gift-grabbing” vibe.

This rule confuses a lot of brides because you’re also not supposed to invite anyone to the engagement party or bridal shower who won’t be invited to the wedding. However, since you did extend the invite — even though you didn’t send a physical invitation — it’s acceptable in this scenario for your friend to be included in pre-wedding events.

7. You're having a cash bar.

In a perfect world, your guests won't have to open their wallets at your wedding. But you don’t need to shell out for a top-shelf open bar if that’s beyond your budget. It’s perfectly acceptable to offer just beer and wine, and it's a nice touch to add a signature cocktail or two. If you must have a cash bar, see if you can negotiate some drink specials with your venue to lessen the burden on your guests.

8. You're not feeding the band.

Vendors who will be sticking around through your reception — band/DJ, photographer, and videographer — need to be fed. Most even state this in their contracts. Check if your venue offers a “vendor meal,” which typically cost about half as much as a guest’s dinner (the vendor meal usually includes just the main course, which lowers the cost). Or, you can sometimes provide subs, pizza, or another quick meal for your vendors (ask them!). Also, encourage them to grab some food during the cocktail hour.

9. You're not take the time to greet each guest personally.

As receiving lines have gone out of fashion, more and more couples plan to visit each table during the reception instead. What you don't know is that most couples never make it around to every table — you'll get sidetracked when your favorite song comes on or when your cousin drags you off to the bar for celebratory drinks, and before you know it, it's time to cut the cake and say goodbye. Our advice: Have a receiving line, even if it feels outdated and takes away from photo time. Think about it this way: Would you rather spend 15 minutes having a receiving line after the ceremony or spend an hour (or more!) going around to every table? Whatever you do, do not make an announcement that guests who want to see you can come join you on the dance floor — yes, we’ve heard this happen many times.

10. You have expectations for your gifts.

We all secretly hope that we’ll get those carefully-selected items on our registries or that we’ll receive enough money to make a down payment on a house. But, contrary to popular belief, wedding guests aren’t even required to give a gift — and there certainly is no minimum amount that your guests have to spend.

Also: This means that you should not include registry information with your wedding invitation. You can, however, include it with your bridal shower invite, since the primary purpose of the event is to shower the bride with gifts!

2014 Witer Wedding Hairstyles

Winter weddings generally mean that you’re less likely to show off your shoulders in an attempt to keep warm and toasty when you’re standing around post-ceremony and pre-party. Brides will reach for faux fur stoles and shrugs while the bridal party and guests of the groom will factor winter coats into their wedding outfits to keep them snug and cozy. But it does throw up a dilemma when it comes to styling your hair with no-one wanting to get it tucked into collars or looking windswept and wiry.

“If you’re wearing a high neck, it’s best to take your hair back and away from your face,” advises celebrity stylist, Andrew Barton. “Wearing your hair up is also a great option because it won’t flop or flatten as the day goes on - you need to consider the fact that you’ll be moving around quite a lot during the day. Securing it into an updo means it won’t shift out of place either so it’ll look the same in all of the pictures!”

It’s also a great time to think about investing in some hair accessories to give your style some je ne sais quoi. Sparkles and diamontes are traditionally top of the list but with winter you can push the perimeters and get away with feathers and jewels so experiment with colors and textures to liven up your style. Look to hairstyles from different era’s too - if you like 60s hairstyles, add a hairband or for a 40s twist, why not secure your victory rolls with ruby red velvet bows.

“A key trend in bridal hairstyles this year has been retro hair and this is continuing into winter,” continues Andrew. “It’s all about hair that’s a bit more done like Marilyn Monroe, Mad Men, Pan Am. Hair that’s been set in rollers and dressed out into a more glamorous wave is really gorgeous or anything that’s been dressed and done in a 40s-inspired style will look great at a winter wedding.”

Other tips to ensure you look the belle of the ball on the big day include making sure you get a couple of practice runs in (whether it’s with your hairdresser or simply in front of the mirror) – this will mean you’ll feel completely confident on the day; do your research and collect pictures of celebrity hairstyles that you like – it will make it much easier when you have to decide on your final look as you’ll have plenty of options to play with; keep your hair in mint condition in the run up to the event with weekly hair masks – don’t forget your hair will suffer in winter due to cold weather and central heating sucking all of the moisture out of your locks, and finally, get a man’s opinion on your chosen hairstyle if you can. Chances are, they won’t beat around the bush and if it’s someone who you know and trust, getting a guy’s perspective will put your mind at ease if you’re worrying about whether the man in your life will like it! Job done!

Top 5 Bridesmaid Dress Trends

You've got your dress chosen and it is fabulous! Now you have to turn your attention to your wedding party. So what are some of the new trends for your bridemaid's dresses?

1. One-Shoulder Dresses

2. Bold and Vibrant Hues

3. Mismatched Gowns

4. Short and Sassy

5. Pastels

Wedding Dress: Covering Your Bases

From comfy shapewear to no-slip strapless bras. what you need to wear beneath that beautiful gown.


Bridal Bras

You've got approximately 472 bras in your underwear drawer, so surely one of those will suffice on your wedding day, right?

Think again, sister. Unless your gown allows you to go al fresco (don't limbo too low, if that's the case), you'll need to give some deep thought to your bridal bra. For example, if your dress features a low back, yet requires support up front, you'll want to invest in a backless, strapless bra that's both comfortable and undetectable through the fabric. For those well-endowed women who have chosen a plunging neckline, a super-low, yet supportive bra will be in order to stay supported and covered. Women with a smaller bust might be able to get away with a set of sturdy pasties.

Since every gown is about as different as every woman's body, it's essential for brides to consult with a lingerie expert. Often, the bridal shop where you purchase your gown has an in-house specialist, or your consultant can recommend a local lingerie boutique where you can be fitted and measured with the stipulations of your gown in mind. Be sure to take along your bra for any and all fittings, as it can significantly impact necessary alterations. Also, take a few hours to test-drive the garment by wearing it around the house. If it's miserably uncomfortable or difficult to dance in, you'll want to take another shopping trip to find a bra with a better fit. There's just no sense in hiring a DJ if you can't wave your hands in air without worrying you'll expose yourself.


Perfect Panties

Panty requirements vary based on the fit of your gown and your overall desire for comfort.

Thongs work for any bride wearing a fitted gown, but be sure to shop around to find one that's comfortable, functional and an appropriate color. If you're wearing a thin or slinky gown that's just one layer of fabric, you might risk giving away hot pink or even black undies. A color that's close to your flesh tone is less noticeable than white or ivory.

What about those dreaded panty lines? Mermaid, trumpet, sheath and fit-and-flare brides, we're looking at you again. You've got two areas to eyeball: where the panty meets your thighs/buttocks, and where the panty meets your waist. Too-tight undies cause unsightly lumps and bulges, so choose a seamless panty. There are plenty of materials to choose from, so if prettiness is a factor, go for lace. If you're only concerned about function, choose a breathable, unpatterned panty.

If you're wearing a ball gown, A-line dress or something with an empire waist, you've got a lot more freedom when it comes to picking panties. Nothing's going to show through your skirt, so panty lines, fabric and color shouldn't be causes for concern.


Compression Garments

Way back when, women had to rely on torturous corsets for instant slimming. Fortunately for modern brides, compression garments have come an impressively long way since the days of dance cards and parasols.

Currently available on the market are Lycra and spandex slimmers for troublesome areas like the thighs, waist and belly. Early versions of these miracle workers were anything but attractive, but many lingerie manufacturers have begun to produce garments pretty enough for any bride to sport proudly. Depending on your personal needs and the silhouette of your gown, you can choose a slip, shorts or a basic girdle. Some compression garments even have built-in boning and cups to assist your bust.

Whatever option you pick, be sure to hang on to it for future use. You might think you need a little help from Lycra now, but once you pop out a kid or two, you'll definitely appreciate the supernatural capabilities that compression garments possess.


Hosiery

Your mother and grandmother probably wore some kind of hosiery with their wedding gowns, but this undergarment was standard in their days. Ladies wore panty hose, plain and simple.

Flash forward to today. Hosiery provides support (support hose, anyone?) as well as color and texture. You might wear tights in the fall and winter months, but they're not necessary for warm weather.

So, which brides need hosiery? If you're wearing a closed-toe shoe or standard heel with your wedding gown, your feet might be more comfortable with something between skin and shoe. Or, you might just like the look of a silky, stockinged leg under your gown. Prevent the problem of ill-fitting hosiery by trying on panty hose ahead of time with your gown. Be sure to pack an extra pair or two in your emergency kit in case a pesky run, snag or hole develops during the course of the day's events.


Slips and Crinolines

If you've chosen an elegant and understated gown (read: sheath, sundress, anything slinky or cut on the bias), a slip might be necessary to smooth it out. This garment also provides an extra layer of lining to keep your dress from being too transparent, which is certainly a comfort when 200 of your closest family and friends, not to mention your videographer, have their eyes on you.

Brides wearing ball gowns might consider wearing a crinoline to provide that extra-special bounce that the look requires. Try on crinolines of varying fullness with your dress to achieve the perfect volume. If possible, we suggest borrowing one from a friend. Crinolines aren't particularly cheap, and after your wedding day, they outlive their usefulness. Unless, of course, you're a fairy-tale princess and plan on wearing it once a week.

5 Ways to Personalize Your Wedding Day

Want your I do's to be totally you? From prewedding cocktails to Mad Lib vows, here are 5 ways to make your ceremony as unforgettable as your reception.

Have a Drink

Start the celebration as soon as guests arrive by throwing a short (no more than an hour) preceremony cocktail party. It will give everyone a chance to mingle and ensure that even your chronically late college roommate will get there in time for the main event. Keep it simple by serving a festive cocktail or two and a small treat like artisanal popcorn in paper cones. As for whether you choose to make a special guest appearance yourself—possibly in another cute white outfit—that's up to you.

Plan a Group Activity

If you're marrying at a location like a museum, zoo, or aquarium, give your guests the option of taking a fun behind-the-scenes tour before your I do's.

Pick an Alternative Bridesmaid Bouquet

Skip the bouquets and have your besties carry a chic clutch instead. (It doubles as a bridesmaids' gift!) Other creative options: silk fans, parasols in your colors, or candlelit lanterns (great for an evening ceremony).

Get Creative With the Ring Bearer

Have your ring bearer carry your bands on something unique: a felt flower, a mini fishing rod, or a slice of wood that says "Here Comes the Bride."

Make a Time Capsule

Before the wedding, write a letter to your groom. (He should do the same for you.) During the ceremony, put the notes and a bottle of wine in a box and take turns hammering it shut. Open it on your 10th anniversary!

6 Items to Save Your Wedding Day Emergency

It's unfortunate, but true: Accidents are bound to happen even on your wedding day — especially when it comes to your pristine, gorgeous white dress. Luckily, most brides say that the little mishaps didn't even make a dent on their big day, but it's always better to be prepared. So, if a tiny drop of red wine somehow lands right onto the front of your dress before you take pictures or if you suffer a wardrobe malfunction, you'll be able to take care of the situation ASAP!

1. Emergency sewing kit with needle, thread, and scissors: "In case you have any tears or rips in your dress — let's say the hem got caught in your heel or your bustle breaks — having thread and a needle can quickly fix the problem. Also make sure to keep a miniature pair of scissors in your kit, which will make any sewing jobs that much easier.

2. Safety Pins: Safety pins are essential in case a detail on a dress falls off and it needs to be secured back on or you have a sudden zipper malfunction.

3. Double-Sided Tape: I've seen one too many brides and bridesmaids who were having too much fun (as they should have been!), and the potential for a 'slip' was very high. Double-sided tape keeps your dresses in intact in places that should never be exposed and gives you confidence to bust out your boldest dance moves.

4. Make Up For Ever Micro Finish Powder: This is one of my favorite products out on the beauty market. Naturally you would use it to blot lightly on your face to combat shine and mattify skin. What a lot of people don't know, however, is that this particular powder also removes oil or grease stains on fabric. It works like magic. Just dust it onto the stain and then blot it out with a tissue or cloth.

5. Tide-to-Go Instant Stain Remover: This is one of the best inventions ever and I always have it on hand. Simply swipe the marker on the stain and it disappears almost instantly.

6. Band-Aid: Last, but not least, don't forget to throw a few Band-Aids into your kit, especially if you're still breaking in new shoes. Stick one on as soon as you feel a pinch to prevent blisters from forming later in the night.

3 Ceremony Timing Essentials

While everyone loves to get the party started, the ceremony is the bread and butter of a wedding. After all, you need a ceremony to actually get married! Once you've figured out where and how you'd like the tie the knot, you'll have to figure out when. From timing your "I dos" with the sunset, to preventing your perpetually late friends and family and even dealing with family members who want to skip the ceremony, our etiquette experts answer all of your ceremony scheduling woes.

Some of my relatives say they are not coming to my 3:30 pm wedding ceremony because they have weekly errands to run. They are planning only to attend the wedding reception, which is at 5 pm. I'm offended! Should I tell them?
We don't blame you for being upset that they would rather hit the dry cleaner than watch you recite your vows, but think carefully before confronting them. Even if you were able to guilt them into attending, would you really feel better knowing they had come only because you forced the issue? Take the high road, and do not mention their absence when you greet them at the reception.

I'm worried about guests arriving late to the ceremony and distracting the others. What can I do to prevent this?
Latecomers to a wedding ceremony are inevitable but there are a few things you can do to minimize the distraction — things that don't involve lying to guests on your invite. Don't be too rigid about beginning the ceremony at the exact minute listed on the invitation; if guests are still trickling in at that moment, give them a few extra minutes to get settled and take their seats. But if it's getting really late, don't feel trapped waiting for people who may never show. (Very late guests may give up trying to get to the ceremony and catch up with you at the reception.) After the ceremony begins, station an usher just outside the ceremony entrance to direct guests in at an appropriate moment. But in the end, don't be too concerned with latecomers. Once the ceremony begins, everyone will be so enthralled with the ceremony that they won't notice any latecomers, especially ones that quietly slink into a seat in the back.

We're having an outdoor wedding and want to get married at sunset. What time should we start the ceremony?
Timing your outdoor ceremony to coincide with the sunset is a wonderful idea -- you and your groom will remember the moment forever and your wedding guests can experience the magic as the light wanes and the candles at the reception begin to glow. But timing the ceremony start time perfectly can be a bit tricky. If you wait until the sun has begun to set to start your walk down the aisle, then the light will be gone by the time you say your vows and you may be left exchanging rings in the dark. Instead, if you're having a 15- to 20-minute ceremony, begin the ceremony one- to one-and-a-half hours before the actual sunset time. (The Weather Channel has a handy wedding-sunset calculator.) Then, the setting sun will cast a soft glow during your vow exchange but it will still be well-lit enough so your photographer can get all the important shots. And as the sun sets and turns to dusk, you'll still have enough light for fabulous post-ceremony group photos, newlywed portraits, and cocktail-hour candids.

The 10 Biggest Wedding Etiquette Don'ts

We're counting down the all-too-common mistakes brides-to-be make, so you can avoid as many of them as possible!

1. Don't announce your engagement on Facebook before calling Grandma.

Remember to share the big news with your inner circle before updating your status on social media. Tell your family and closest friends first, preferably in person, or if they're long-distance, by phone or Skype (so they see the ring!). Only then is it appropriate to change your Facebook status. And after the outpouring of congrats, be sure to post a quick thank-you to the well-wishers.

2. Don't include registry information on your invites.
Your wedding invitation lets guests know how much you love them and want them to be by your side on your wedding day. There should not be any mention of an expectation for a gift, even though, yes, that would be the easiest and most obvious place. It may sound old fashioned, but word of mouth is still the best way to loop everyone in on your registry. Make sure that those closest to you (your parents, his parents, bridesmaids, groomsmen) have your registry details handy because they will likely receive phone calls and emails from guests with questions about what to get you. Another way to easily share registry details to your guest list is via a wedding website — which is totally okay to include on your invites. Be sure to list the URL so guests can head there to get all sorts of additional wedding info — location details, directions, attire suggestions, and, of course, your registry.

3. Don't make guests wait too long between the ceremony and reception.

If your ceremony and reception are at different venues, do your best to minimize the in-between time. When guests have too much free time on their hands between the ceremony and reception, they'll either starve (and get cranky) or find a nearby cafe and stuff themselves. Ideally you want your guests to eat and drink and be merry at your reception, not at a bar they found along the way. If a large time gap is inevitable, make sure your guests are entertained or have the option of being entertained. You may want to plan an outing — a sightseeing bus tour, maybe? — or set up a hospitality lounge, with drinks and snacks, at the hotel where your guests will be staying (you can include information and directions in the ceremony program). Your main goal is to make sure nobody's left in the lurch with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

4. Don't invite someone to the bridal shower if they aren't invited to the wedding.

You can't invite someone to your shower and expect them to give you a gift if you are not planning to invite them to the wedding. It would seem like they were good enough to give you a shower gift, but not good enough to celebrate with you on your big day. The bridal shower is intended to be a celebration with the bride's nearest and dearest, so every shower guest must already be on the wedding guest list. The only exception is a workplace bridal shower, in which a large number of coworkers pitch in and contribute to an office celebration. (If an office shower involves only a few coworkers, thoughtful couples will probably include these colleagues in the wedding guest list.)

5. Don't skimp on wedding-party gifts.

Truthfully, the best gift you can give your wedding party is a pleasant, drama-free experience as they help you prep for the big day. However, it's also important to thank your attendants with a tangible gift to show your appreciation. While every couple's situation (i.e., wedding budget, number of bridesmaids and groomsmen) is different, you'll want to sit down with your fiancé and have a discussion about thank-you presents. One idea is to jointly decide on an appropriate price range per gift, then choose presents accordingly. But if, for example, you decide to give your attendants $80 necklaces while your fiancé gifts his groomsmen with $150 custom Nike sneakers, that's totally fine, as long as you've communicated about this. Whatever you decide to buy, consider what you've been asking financially of your bridesmaids and groomsmen. If they're dropping a ton of cash on wedding-related things like an airplane ticket, hotel room, and $500 bridesmaid dress (not to mention the bridal shower, bridal-shower gift, and wedding present), then a $20 necklace from Etsy might seem a little ungracious. You're certainly not required to buy something that equals how much they've spent, but the amount should convey a sincere gratitude for how much time, effort, and money they have put into your wedding. As a rule of thumb, something between $75 and $150 should suffice.

6. Don't clump all your single friends together at one table.

Sure, weddings are a great place to meet people, but don't throw all your single friends haphazardly at one table. Instead, seat people based on their shared interests, not marital status. Go through your guest list and draw parallels — join up guests with similar hobbies, jobs, or interests. And try to make everyone feel comfortable by offering a mix of familiar and new faces at each table. If your single cousin Kristen just got back from a trip to Copenhagen and your married friends Matt and Valerie are headed there next month, seat them at the same table.

7. Don't make guests pay for their own drinks.

The bar bill amounts to one of the reception's biggest expenses, so it's understandable that not every couple can afford hours and hours of open-bar boozing. But there are many ways to save big without having to resort to a cash bar, which is never a good idea! We repeat, a cash bar is never a good idea! Instead, try one of these ideas:

1. Serve two creative signature cocktails. Give your guests a taste of your personality as a couple by serving a signature drink or two. You'll limit the amount of alcohol imbibed since you can incorporate inexpensive mixers, and you can choose a less expensive brand of alcohol. Not only will this selection help you stick to your budget, but also, your guests will enjoy learning more about you through your drink choices.
2. Stick to wine and beer. Mixed drinks with expensive liquor can quickly add up, so give your guests a choice of wine or beer to sip throughout the night.
3. BYOB. Ask if your site allows you to bring in your own liquor. Buy it by the case to save 10 to 15 percent off the cost of single bottles. Return unopened bottles, if that's allowed in your state.
4. Have a limited open bar. You can opt for an open bar just during cocktail hour, then switch to beer and wine during dinner and the rest of the reception.
5. Go ethnic. Plan a themed reception, then limit beverages to a few appropriate options: red wine with an Italian celebration, or Coronas and margaritas for a Mexican fiesta, for example.

8. Don't forget to feed your wedding vendors.
The last thing you want on your wedding day is a low-energy DJ or an exhausted photographer. Your vendors are putting on your affair so that you don't have to, so plan on feeding any wedding professionals who will be there with you at the reception. This includes your wedding planner, photographer, videographer, and DJ or band, plus their assistants (but not your florist or the ceremony musicians). Work their meals into your budget and consider it part of their fee. (And actually, for many vendors, it is actually stipulated in the contract that the couple is to provide a meal.) As for pricing, ask your caterer — everyone has different policies. Some won't charge extra while others will charge you around 50 percent of the guest meal cost. Others will have you pay full price. Once that's settled, you are responsible for letting your caterer know how many extra meals they need to prepare for your vendors. Also talk to your caterers and the venue manager to designate a quiet spot for them to eat during a break (though you may want to seat your photographer in the main room so they're near the action, in case they need to jump out of their seat to take a shot). Just remember, your vendors are going to be working five to eight hours (or more!) that day and you don't want their energy to flag just as the party gets going.

9. Don't skip out on greeting each guest personally.

These days, most couples forgo the formal post-ceremony receiving line. Instead, make it a point to circulate among the reception tables after dinner. Work with your wedding planner to schedule the table greetings into the day-of timeline and make an effort to find something sincere and personal to say to each guest. Another idea is to hand-deliver your wedding favors as you make your table rounds — it's the perfect way to catch everyone. Just make sure to keep moving and don't get held up at one table for too long.

10. Don't wait a year to send your thank-you notes.
Let's set the record straight: No, you do not have a year to mail your thank-you cards. We're not sure where this wedding myth originated, but you should send thank-you notes to everyone who has given you a gift at any of the wedding festivities (the engagement party, bridal shower, wedding) in a much more timely fashion. For gifts received during the engagement party and shower, send a thank you within two to three weeks of the festivities; for gifts sent before the wedding date, send a card as soon as possible but definitely before the wedding; for gifts given on the wedding day itself, mail a thank-you note within three months; and for gifts received after your wedding, send one within two to three weeks.

What is your favorite "Don't" that we didn't list?

Ask Anything...Wedding Advice for Real People

I love the look of crystal for a black tie wedding, but it's beyond our budget. Is there a good alternative?

Modern colored stemware! It brightens up a formal, neutral palette in an instant, and it's way less expensive to rent.

I'm obsessed with wedding cakes with edible flowers. Any ideas on where I can get them?

What's sweeter than blossoms good enough to eat? You can get them from Edible Flowers or Terrain.

I want to incorporate fabric from my mother's dress in to my own, but her's is lace and mine is silk. Is it doable?

Antique lace can look beautiful layered onto a silk bodice or as an accent around your neckline or waist. For a fee, most salons or designers should be able to make the alteration for you. You could also look at using it on your bouquet, your headpiece, or design a clutch to carry.

Do we have to invite our out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner?

A big rehearsal dinner is a nice way to thank people for making the trip, but it is by no means expected. It's totally cool to limit your dinner to the wedding party, and close family. If you'd like, you can treat your other guests to drinks and snacks back at the hotel.

How To Make Wedding Traditions New

Weddings are chalk full of traditions. Really, a wedding ceremony itself — with the symbolic wedding rings, vows, aisles, white wedding gowns, and a following wedding reception — is all tradition. So, when bride’s start to question if they want to have a “traditional” wedding, by having a wedding it is traditional. But, the little traditional details can of course be picked over to cater to the bride’s beliefs and wants, and each of these traditions can be modified and otherwise modernized. One of the more fun and widely known traditions comes from the Victorian rhyme “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in your shoe,”  listing the popular traditions and superstitions of the time. These traditions pulled together as one is a popular tradition today that is easily tweaked and made unique for the bride-to-be.

What do they mean? The something old in this tradition is meant symbolically link the bride to her heritage and past, a past that then looks forward. The something new is this looking forward: It is a symbol of looking to the future with optimism. Then something borrowed is meant to represent borrowing happiness. The intention is that the bride would borrow something from a woman in a happy marriage and borrowing something from her would then bring happiness and longevity to the marriage of the new bride. Next, something blue is a symbol of good fortune and fidelity. And finally, the sixpence in your shoe is supposed to bring prosperity to the marriage.

Ideas on How to Make this Tradition Unique to You

“Something Old”

Typically, the something old will be an heirloom that has been passed down in your family and this is the easiest to make individualized to you. If you have a grandmother that you were close to or there is an heirloom that means a lot to you, then this is where you would want to incorporate it in your wedding. If you don’t have an heirloom in mind, then try using something old that is representative of you as a person or something special about your family or childhood. The way to make this old tradition new is to make sure you make it about you.

•     Use a broach or pendant as part of your wedding bouquet wrap
•     For your engagement photos have a photo shoot with a restored car or at an old or historic building (maybe even at the place where your parents or grandparents met or went on their first date)
•     Display old family photos at the reception (old wedding photos or couple photos)
•     Have the wedding at an old church (perhaps even the church your parents were married in)
•     Use the bride’s parents cake topper as your wedding cake topper
•     Wear a mother’s or grandmother’s wedding dress or use the material from their wedding dress to make yours

“Something New”

For your something new…buy something new. A lot of the accessories and necessities will be new for your wedding, but it is important to designate something you want to buy as your something new.

•     Your wedding dress
•     New wedding jewelry (A locket with an old photograph would be a cute way to combine old and new together!)
•     Treat the bride to new and expensive make up to wear on the wedding day
•     Buy a new perfume or have a perfume designed for the bride

Or instead of buying something new, think trying something new.

•     Have a daring food choose as part of your menu item (never had escargot? Try it!)
•     Never been in a helicopter? Instead of driving off in a car, leave in and for a helicopter ride around the city to check out the lights and be close to the stars. Then have a friend leave you a car where the helicopter lands.
•     Go skydiving on your honeymoon.
•     Find a world record that you can complete at your wedding reception (I believe there is a record for the longest held kiss…)
•     Learn a new dance to perform at your reception.

“Something Borrowed”
When thinking of the something to borrow don’t restrict yourself to things the bride can have on her during the wedding ceremony. What can help you make new this tradition is implementing it throughout the wedding day and not restricting it to what the bride wears.

Things to borrow and then return with a thank you note:

•     A sister’s veil or petticoat for under your wedding dress.
•     Borrow a book with a poem or sweet sentiment that can be used in the ceramony
•     If you are having a beach wedding borrow a stone or sea shell from the ocean (no thank you note needed here…that would be littering)
•     Borrow the wedding jewelry from a friend or sister
•     Borrow the honeymoon location by staying at a friend vacation home

“Something Blue”

Something blue is by far the easiest aspects of this tradition to adhere to, but that just means you are open to a whole wide world of creativity in your implementation of it.

•     Have blue as one of your wedding colors
•     Wear blue wedding shoes
•     Have a blue sapphire or jewel in one of your wedding accessories
•     Have a light blue aisle or a blue glass paved aisle way
•     Put a blue flower in the flower girl’s hair
•     Use blue colored lights at the reception for your lighting
•     Use a blue garter or have a garter with blue on it
•     Have your wedding date and names embroidered to the inside of your wedding dress in blue thread
•     Have your guest’s sign in with a blue ink pen
•     Play music that features the word blue or is blues music at the wedding reception (you can have an MC announce it if you like)

“Sixpence in Your Shoe”

This is one tradition that is often left out of the old-new-borrowed-blue wedding tradition, but if you want to capture everything in this tradition or adhere to the superstition that it will bring your marriage good luck and prosperity, then you don’t want to forget that sixpence!

•     You can of course order a sixpence and use it traditionally by placing it in the bride’s shoe
•     You can have it sewn into the hem of the wedding dress
•     Attach it to the wedding bouquet
•     Use a lucky penny instead of a sixpence
•     Use a coin in the currency of the country you will be honeymooning in
•     Use a coin in the currency of the country your ancestors were from
•     Have a coin minted for the bride

10 Things NOT To Do While Wearing Your Engagement Ring

People ask us all the time, “How can I make sure my diamond doesn’t get damaged?”  Proper care and treatment of your engagement ring or wedding band will allow your ring to sparkle for decades to come.  Have other questions about how to care for your engagement ring?  Speak to one of our diamond experts today!

    Put On Lotion, Makeup and Hair Products:

Build up of makeup, lotion, hair products and creams can mask the brilliance of the diamonds in your ring.  Hairspray and some hair chemicals can eat away at gold and also dull the surface of diamonds and gemstones.

     Swim:

There are many dangers when it comes to swimming with a ring — chlorine in some swimming pools can also cause damage to your ring, especially if its prolonged.  It may cause the metal to deteriorate.  Another potential problem is swimming in cold water may cause your ring to come loose and fall off – in a pool, it can be rescued- but if you lose your ring in the ocean or a lake, good luck getting it back.

    Clean The House:

This is similar to lotions and hair products. Bleach and other chemicals used to clean your house can damage the setting of your ring.  Some cleaners can even change the color of the setting or diamond itself.

    Do The Dishes:

Harsh chemicals and dish soaps can discolor, dissolve, or otherwise damage the stone or metal bands.

    Operate Heavy Machinery:

If you have a job that involves manual labor, like construction work, keep your ring at home in a safe place. This will help avoid breaks, splits, cracks, and looseness that are caused by bang-ups.

    Play tennis or golf:

If you have a tight grip, are left-handed and have diamonds all around your band, remove your ring before playing.  You could knock out stones and cause excessive wear and tear to your ring.

     Gardening:

The hidden rocks in dirt can chip the diamond or knock the setting loose–on top of getting your stone super dirty!

    Sleep:

Depending on the shape and size of your ring, wear it to sleep at night can be a bad idea. If you have an over-sized stone with lots of edges, remove it before going to bed and avoid scratching you or your bed partner’s face in the night.

     Clean The Oven:

Oven cleaner “Easy Off” is a notoriously harsh product (it burns skin to the touch!) and the damage on wedding rings can be catastrophic. Don’t risk it with gloves. Remove your ring completely.

     Cooking/Baking:

You actually CAN wear your ring for most cooking and baking projects-but if you are using your hands with something sticky or gooey, like dough, remove your ring.  It’ll make a mess out of your ring and be a pain to clean.

How To Hire a Wedding DJ That Is Right For You

Out of all the wedding vendors couples book, the most challenging and arguably most important one is the DJ. You can judge a venue by its visual aesthetics or a photographer by their images, but what criteria can you use to find the best DJ for you? Here’s how to qualify a DJ, who fits both your needs and has the ability to execute your vision:

1. Mixing – Blending songs consistently and tastefully together while transitioning between different eras and genres of music. It requires technical skill, deep-music knowledge, and the intangible ability to read a crowd.

    Why – This is the most important factor for keeping your family and friends on the dance floor all night long. It will be the difference between guests forgetting your wedding or having lifelong memories they’ll talk about forever.
    How – Does the DJ have a mix that you can listen to? Can you see them perform live at an event? If yes, your ear will be able to distinguish their skill level and tell you if they’re the right fit. If the answer is no, take them off of the list.

2. Service/Organization – Ensuring that every need of a couple is met in a timely fashion and accounting for every detail ahead of time.

    Why – The level of service is a barometer of how invested a DJ is to your event and should make that planning process as easy as possible. Organization ultimately leads to either a botched or well-executed event.
    How – What is your online interaction like? Does the DJ understand your vision and communicate swiftly or is it like pulling teeth? An in-person meeting will give you a a chance to assess this and ask the DJ how they prepare for an event.

3. Hosting/MCing – Guiding an audience through an event with down-to-earth announcements. Creating a natural flow keeps things moving so people are always engaged.

    Why – Family and friends invested their time and money to experience and witness every aspect of your wedding. The last thing you want is some guy blabbing on the mic and annoying everyone.
    How – Again, an in-person meeting immediately reveals their verbal communication and listening skills. Or you can always see them perform live at an event.

4. Equipment – Having professional microphones, sound system, lighting, and gear.

    Why – The most common problem is microphone feedback, which can ruin a ceremony or heartfelt speech. It doesn’t matter how incredible a mix is if it’s distorted or hits a volume ceiling.
    How – Simply ask for a list of equipment then cross reference it online. The cost of the equipment typically correlates with its reliability and performance – the higher the better. If a DJ uses Technics 1200 turntables or Pioneer CDJ 1000s, that’s a sign they are serious about their mixing. If lighting is a priority then find out what options they have available.

5. Experience – The repetition of doing a variety of events.

    Why – A DJ who is well versed in both the pressure of party rocking at a club and the detail required for weddings should be well equipped to make sure you have the time of your life.
    How – Find out their gig history and actually verify its accuracy.

After you have done the research and interviews, take a step back and consider what’s most important to you. Set aside any preconceived ideas about price because investing in the DJ will ensure that all of the hard-earned money you’re spending in other departments doesn’t go to waste. A wedding only happens once and you should hire the right person that can create the unforgettable experience you’ve always dreamed of.

Wedding Superstitions for a Sunny Day

Just because rain on your wedding day is considered good luck doesn't mean you're hoping for it. In fact, weather wary brides throughout history have dreamt up wild ways to ward off dark skies.

• A Southern custom calls for burying a full, unopened bottle of bourbon at the ceremony site exactly one month before saying "I do." After making it official, the newlyweds dig up the bottle and share it with their attendants. 
• Catholics have been known to display a Virgin Mary statue in their window a week before the festivities. And if they wake up to rain on the morning of, they hang a rosary from a tree in their yard. 
• In Ireland, relatives of the couple place a statue of baby Jesus, called the Child of Prague, under a bush to keep storm clouds away.
• An old voodoo practice promises that anyone has the power to pause a wedding day downpour - just plant a cross on the ceremony grounds and sprinkle it with salt. 

What is your favorite Wedding Day superstition  - or the one you just won't ignore - just in case?

Wedding DIY - Fabulous Flowers with Floral Frogs

Flowers aren't the easiest wedding detail to DIY - they need to be done just before the big day. Unless your a pro creating a complicated centerpiece can also be a nightmare! But there is a trick that makes arranging them a snap.

Often used in ikebana - the Japanese are of flower arranging, floral frogs are slotted structures that sit in the bottom of a vase to hold the flower. Just place one stem in each hole and you will have an airy, well-spaced grouping. Hardy bulb flowers, such as tulips, daffodils and lilies, stand up best. Consider using them and save some money for that fabulous honeymoon!

Spotlight on Wedding Memories

Everybody says it, and it's true. Your wedding goes by so quickly! The best gift you can give yourself (and kids and grandkids) is a book of memories from your amazing celebration. It doesn't have to be a chore or yet another task you have to do in the midst of all the planning. Here are my top tips for making it fun and easy to relive a time you will always want to remember.

Figure Out Your Style.
Are you a scrapbook fan who like saving tactile bits like a swatch of fabric from your gown? Or do you prefer the professional look of a digital photo book? Personally, I did both. A scrapbook to focus on the fun lighter side and a professional book to highlight the elegance of our day. Choose whatever inspires you.

Scrutinize Your Shot List.
Add details that you want to showcase to the must-haves that you give your photographer. Then you'll be able to paste a pic of your bouquet next to a dried petal in your scrapbook or include an image of your hand written vows in a photo book.

Appoint a Souvenir Snatcher.
Ask a pal to grab day-of keepsakes that you will be too busy to snag. And be sure to mail yourself an invitation - you can post these in a scrapbook or take photos for a digital version.

Write It Down.
Along with images, you will want to remember the words that move you. Request that everyone who makes a toast give you their notes if they make any - even if they email them to you later.

What are you planning to include in your memory catcher?

What’s trending this wedding season

This is a busy time of the year for Noteable Expressions as we help our happy couples prepare for their big days. We’re often asked by couples what’s trending for the upcoming season year. Wedding trends are always changing, colors, themes, clothes and accessories and in more recent years technology. Over the years we’ve seen the good, the bad and not so good. We’ve decided help out our couples by coming up with a few predicted trends for 2014-2015.

Wedding Dresses

Layer and textures are popular for 2014 bridal gowns. Floor length dresses with open back and combinations of soft fabrics (lace, chiffon and organza).

Wedding Hair Styles

Loosely-done waves, super chic bobs are popular styles with flowers, hairpins and fascinators are popular accessories.

Wedding Color Trends
The table below illustrates the popular wedding color choices:

Wedding Bouquets

Most bouquets are hand-tied, with the flowers gathered together and wrapped in wide satin ribbon. The style is looser than previous years, with a ‘just picked’ look. Adding beads and brooches, crystals and feathers seem to be a continuing trend from the last year.

The choice of flower will often depend on the season, roses continues to be the most popular bouquet flower, hydrangeas, peonies and orchids are also very popular.
Wedding Reception Decorations

Couples are choosing to decorate their venues with more and more unique items bird cages, crystal trees, vintage furniture and one we really like is photos and portraits used as decorative elements.

Other popular decorating items include Chinese lanterns, tissue pom poms, garlands and over-sized balloons.

A popular decorating trend is the confection bar, which is where a variety of lollies or treats are grouped together on a table, in glass jars of varying size. Silver spoons or scoops in each container allows guests to fill small boxes or bags as take-home wedding favors.

Wedding Cakes

Couples are sticking to the traditional sponge, chocolate, vanilla or fruit cake, choosing cake decorations that fit with the wedding theme.
Wedding Photography

Couples are choosing photo journalistic style (actions shots of the day’s events) wedding photography over the traditional posed portraits. Posed portraits are still requested with a mix of color and black and white photos.

Wedding Themes

The most common wedding themes for the up-coming year are rustic, vintage, and garden all with a mix of glitter, glam and tradition.

How to Plan a Wedding At Work - and Not Lose Your Job

 Use office hours to schedule vender visits, not conduct them.

It's fine to make wedding calls during your downtime, but use them to quickly and discreetly arrange meetings for weeknights and weekends.

Don't spend every lunch hour with your planner.

As you know, relationships are crucial at work, so don't let yours fade by spending every coffee break and lunch hour with your planner or venders.

Avoid obsessing over wedding details with coworkers.

She'd never say it to your face but Hillary in HR really doesn't care if you go with peonies or gardenias. Not even a little bit.

Delegate (but not to your admin).

Ask your fiance, your bridesmaids, your Mom to handle details that are less crucial to you. Give the right task to the right person and then trust them to handle it. Don't micromanage.

Ask a work buddy to keep tabs on you. 

A trusted friend or coworker can tell you when you are pushing the limits. Is your cube empty too often when the boss strolls by? Count on your girl to sound the alarm and then be sure to heed the warning!

Use vacation days strategically. 

Consider clipping that two-week honeymoon and taking one or two days off before your wedding. Then schedule back-to-back vender visits on them.

Ask Us Anything...Wedding Edition

We don't want our white centerpieces to fade into the background. How do we make them pop?

Don't worry -- white blooms can make a huge impact. For peak drama, your florist should give them seven to ten days to fully open. Leave the greenery for contrast, and try sprinkling your table with votives. Candlelight makes snowy tones stand out beautifully.

 

I love my invite! For favors, I'd like to give cookies that borrow from its design. Where can I get them? 

A Dozen Eggs, a bakery in Vermont that ships nation-wide, will custom design treats to match your stationery suite.

I want to wear a mermaid gown, but I'm five foot two and I worry the style will make me look shorter. What can I do?

A mermaid is doable for any height as long as it is cut to fit your body. For maximum elongation, make sure it is fitted through your hips and flares out just above - not below - your knee.

New Wedding Trend of Brides and Their Bridesmaids Showing Their Bare Bums for a Photo: No. Just No.

No, No, No, No, No

I borrowed that string of No‘s, readers, from the subject line of one of the many people who have emailed me to make sure this—this thing—is on my radar, because it very succinctly sums up my reaction to it, too.

Here is the thing we’re talking about. I’ll pause a minute while you soak it in:

 

Here's the thing: When it comes to weddings, you will be hard-pressed to find a person who is more whatever-floats-your-boat, whatever-blows-your-skirt-up than me—I am always preaching to brides not to worry about trends or what's "cool" or what's "in" or what the "rules" are, because I truly believe that especially when it comes to something like a wedding, everyone should do what they want—and I'm not suspending that for this. If you really feel like this fits you and your vibe and your wedding (like, I kinda get that feeling from the fishnet-donning bride and her party above?) and if you really feel certain that in 40 years as your grandchildren page through your well-worn wedding album and come upon this photo that you will beam and say, "Didn't Grandma look good, honey?" then by all means, knock yourself out.

But what I am saying is that I don't like it. I don't even get it. There doesn't seem to be a consistent motivation, judging by the evidence: Is it supposed to be coquettish? Cute? Mischievous? Sexy? Silly? Rebellious? Burlesque-ish? Little-girl-and-the-puppy-on-the-Coopertone-bottle-ish? Cheeky (and yes, I am cringing at the pun)? I honestly don't know.

There is a time and a place for a bare ass, see, even when it comes to weddings—a boudoir shoot! Your wild bachelorette party! Your clothes-optional honeymoon! Even that ridiculous "morning-after" photography, if that is still a thing that people are doing—but your actual wedding is not it. I don't care if you are spending $2,000 or $20,000 or $200,000 on your celebration, your wedding is not the appropriate backdrop for a bare ass, unless of course you and your new mister are overcome with newly-married passion and get at it in the coatroom/limo/bathroom, in which case by all means, God bless.

Just, no.

Originally Posted on PhillyMag by Carrie DennyImages from Imgur