The 10 Biggest Wedding Etiquette Don'ts

We're counting down the all-too-common mistakes brides-to-be make, so you can avoid as many of them as possible!

1. Don't announce your engagement on Facebook before calling Grandma.

Remember to share the big news with your inner circle before updating your status on social media. Tell your family and closest friends first, preferably in person, or if they're long-distance, by phone or Skype (so they see the ring!). Only then is it appropriate to change your Facebook status. And after the outpouring of congrats, be sure to post a quick thank-you to the well-wishers.

2. Don't include registry information on your invites.
Your wedding invitation lets guests know how much you love them and want them to be by your side on your wedding day. There should not be any mention of an expectation for a gift, even though, yes, that would be the easiest and most obvious place. It may sound old fashioned, but word of mouth is still the best way to loop everyone in on your registry. Make sure that those closest to you (your parents, his parents, bridesmaids, groomsmen) have your registry details handy because they will likely receive phone calls and emails from guests with questions about what to get you. Another way to easily share registry details to your guest list is via a wedding website — which is totally okay to include on your invites. Be sure to list the URL so guests can head there to get all sorts of additional wedding info — location details, directions, attire suggestions, and, of course, your registry.

3. Don't make guests wait too long between the ceremony and reception.

If your ceremony and reception are at different venues, do your best to minimize the in-between time. When guests have too much free time on their hands between the ceremony and reception, they'll either starve (and get cranky) or find a nearby cafe and stuff themselves. Ideally you want your guests to eat and drink and be merry at your reception, not at a bar they found along the way. If a large time gap is inevitable, make sure your guests are entertained or have the option of being entertained. You may want to plan an outing — a sightseeing bus tour, maybe? — or set up a hospitality lounge, with drinks and snacks, at the hotel where your guests will be staying (you can include information and directions in the ceremony program). Your main goal is to make sure nobody's left in the lurch with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

4. Don't invite someone to the bridal shower if they aren't invited to the wedding.

You can't invite someone to your shower and expect them to give you a gift if you are not planning to invite them to the wedding. It would seem like they were good enough to give you a shower gift, but not good enough to celebrate with you on your big day. The bridal shower is intended to be a celebration with the bride's nearest and dearest, so every shower guest must already be on the wedding guest list. The only exception is a workplace bridal shower, in which a large number of coworkers pitch in and contribute to an office celebration. (If an office shower involves only a few coworkers, thoughtful couples will probably include these colleagues in the wedding guest list.)

5. Don't skimp on wedding-party gifts.

Truthfully, the best gift you can give your wedding party is a pleasant, drama-free experience as they help you prep for the big day. However, it's also important to thank your attendants with a tangible gift to show your appreciation. While every couple's situation (i.e., wedding budget, number of bridesmaids and groomsmen) is different, you'll want to sit down with your fiancé and have a discussion about thank-you presents. One idea is to jointly decide on an appropriate price range per gift, then choose presents accordingly. But if, for example, you decide to give your attendants $80 necklaces while your fiancé gifts his groomsmen with $150 custom Nike sneakers, that's totally fine, as long as you've communicated about this. Whatever you decide to buy, consider what you've been asking financially of your bridesmaids and groomsmen. If they're dropping a ton of cash on wedding-related things like an airplane ticket, hotel room, and $500 bridesmaid dress (not to mention the bridal shower, bridal-shower gift, and wedding present), then a $20 necklace from Etsy might seem a little ungracious. You're certainly not required to buy something that equals how much they've spent, but the amount should convey a sincere gratitude for how much time, effort, and money they have put into your wedding. As a rule of thumb, something between $75 and $150 should suffice.

6. Don't clump all your single friends together at one table.

Sure, weddings are a great place to meet people, but don't throw all your single friends haphazardly at one table. Instead, seat people based on their shared interests, not marital status. Go through your guest list and draw parallels — join up guests with similar hobbies, jobs, or interests. And try to make everyone feel comfortable by offering a mix of familiar and new faces at each table. If your single cousin Kristen just got back from a trip to Copenhagen and your married friends Matt and Valerie are headed there next month, seat them at the same table.

7. Don't make guests pay for their own drinks.

The bar bill amounts to one of the reception's biggest expenses, so it's understandable that not every couple can afford hours and hours of open-bar boozing. But there are many ways to save big without having to resort to a cash bar, which is never a good idea! We repeat, a cash bar is never a good idea! Instead, try one of these ideas:

1. Serve two creative signature cocktails. Give your guests a taste of your personality as a couple by serving a signature drink or two. You'll limit the amount of alcohol imbibed since you can incorporate inexpensive mixers, and you can choose a less expensive brand of alcohol. Not only will this selection help you stick to your budget, but also, your guests will enjoy learning more about you through your drink choices.
2. Stick to wine and beer. Mixed drinks with expensive liquor can quickly add up, so give your guests a choice of wine or beer to sip throughout the night.
3. BYOB. Ask if your site allows you to bring in your own liquor. Buy it by the case to save 10 to 15 percent off the cost of single bottles. Return unopened bottles, if that's allowed in your state.
4. Have a limited open bar. You can opt for an open bar just during cocktail hour, then switch to beer and wine during dinner and the rest of the reception.
5. Go ethnic. Plan a themed reception, then limit beverages to a few appropriate options: red wine with an Italian celebration, or Coronas and margaritas for a Mexican fiesta, for example.

8. Don't forget to feed your wedding vendors.
The last thing you want on your wedding day is a low-energy DJ or an exhausted photographer. Your vendors are putting on your affair so that you don't have to, so plan on feeding any wedding professionals who will be there with you at the reception. This includes your wedding planner, photographer, videographer, and DJ or band, plus their assistants (but not your florist or the ceremony musicians). Work their meals into your budget and consider it part of their fee. (And actually, for many vendors, it is actually stipulated in the contract that the couple is to provide a meal.) As for pricing, ask your caterer — everyone has different policies. Some won't charge extra while others will charge you around 50 percent of the guest meal cost. Others will have you pay full price. Once that's settled, you are responsible for letting your caterer know how many extra meals they need to prepare for your vendors. Also talk to your caterers and the venue manager to designate a quiet spot for them to eat during a break (though you may want to seat your photographer in the main room so they're near the action, in case they need to jump out of their seat to take a shot). Just remember, your vendors are going to be working five to eight hours (or more!) that day and you don't want their energy to flag just as the party gets going.

9. Don't skip out on greeting each guest personally.

These days, most couples forgo the formal post-ceremony receiving line. Instead, make it a point to circulate among the reception tables after dinner. Work with your wedding planner to schedule the table greetings into the day-of timeline and make an effort to find something sincere and personal to say to each guest. Another idea is to hand-deliver your wedding favors as you make your table rounds — it's the perfect way to catch everyone. Just make sure to keep moving and don't get held up at one table for too long.

10. Don't wait a year to send your thank-you notes.
Let's set the record straight: No, you do not have a year to mail your thank-you cards. We're not sure where this wedding myth originated, but you should send thank-you notes to everyone who has given you a gift at any of the wedding festivities (the engagement party, bridal shower, wedding) in a much more timely fashion. For gifts received during the engagement party and shower, send a thank you within two to three weeks of the festivities; for gifts sent before the wedding date, send a card as soon as possible but definitely before the wedding; for gifts given on the wedding day itself, mail a thank-you note within three months; and for gifts received after your wedding, send one within two to three weeks.

What is your favorite "Don't" that we didn't list?

How To Make Wedding Traditions New

Weddings are chalk full of traditions. Really, a wedding ceremony itself — with the symbolic wedding rings, vows, aisles, white wedding gowns, and a following wedding reception — is all tradition. So, when bride’s start to question if they want to have a “traditional” wedding, by having a wedding it is traditional. But, the little traditional details can of course be picked over to cater to the bride’s beliefs and wants, and each of these traditions can be modified and otherwise modernized. One of the more fun and widely known traditions comes from the Victorian rhyme “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in your shoe,”  listing the popular traditions and superstitions of the time. These traditions pulled together as one is a popular tradition today that is easily tweaked and made unique for the bride-to-be.

What do they mean? The something old in this tradition is meant symbolically link the bride to her heritage and past, a past that then looks forward. The something new is this looking forward: It is a symbol of looking to the future with optimism. Then something borrowed is meant to represent borrowing happiness. The intention is that the bride would borrow something from a woman in a happy marriage and borrowing something from her would then bring happiness and longevity to the marriage of the new bride. Next, something blue is a symbol of good fortune and fidelity. And finally, the sixpence in your shoe is supposed to bring prosperity to the marriage.

Ideas on How to Make this Tradition Unique to You

“Something Old”

Typically, the something old will be an heirloom that has been passed down in your family and this is the easiest to make individualized to you. If you have a grandmother that you were close to or there is an heirloom that means a lot to you, then this is where you would want to incorporate it in your wedding. If you don’t have an heirloom in mind, then try using something old that is representative of you as a person or something special about your family or childhood. The way to make this old tradition new is to make sure you make it about you.

•     Use a broach or pendant as part of your wedding bouquet wrap
•     For your engagement photos have a photo shoot with a restored car or at an old or historic building (maybe even at the place where your parents or grandparents met or went on their first date)
•     Display old family photos at the reception (old wedding photos or couple photos)
•     Have the wedding at an old church (perhaps even the church your parents were married in)
•     Use the bride’s parents cake topper as your wedding cake topper
•     Wear a mother’s or grandmother’s wedding dress or use the material from their wedding dress to make yours

“Something New”

For your something new…buy something new. A lot of the accessories and necessities will be new for your wedding, but it is important to designate something you want to buy as your something new.

•     Your wedding dress
•     New wedding jewelry (A locket with an old photograph would be a cute way to combine old and new together!)
•     Treat the bride to new and expensive make up to wear on the wedding day
•     Buy a new perfume or have a perfume designed for the bride

Or instead of buying something new, think trying something new.

•     Have a daring food choose as part of your menu item (never had escargot? Try it!)
•     Never been in a helicopter? Instead of driving off in a car, leave in and for a helicopter ride around the city to check out the lights and be close to the stars. Then have a friend leave you a car where the helicopter lands.
•     Go skydiving on your honeymoon.
•     Find a world record that you can complete at your wedding reception (I believe there is a record for the longest held kiss…)
•     Learn a new dance to perform at your reception.

“Something Borrowed”
When thinking of the something to borrow don’t restrict yourself to things the bride can have on her during the wedding ceremony. What can help you make new this tradition is implementing it throughout the wedding day and not restricting it to what the bride wears.

Things to borrow and then return with a thank you note:

•     A sister’s veil or petticoat for under your wedding dress.
•     Borrow a book with a poem or sweet sentiment that can be used in the ceramony
•     If you are having a beach wedding borrow a stone or sea shell from the ocean (no thank you note needed here…that would be littering)
•     Borrow the wedding jewelry from a friend or sister
•     Borrow the honeymoon location by staying at a friend vacation home

“Something Blue”

Something blue is by far the easiest aspects of this tradition to adhere to, but that just means you are open to a whole wide world of creativity in your implementation of it.

•     Have blue as one of your wedding colors
•     Wear blue wedding shoes
•     Have a blue sapphire or jewel in one of your wedding accessories
•     Have a light blue aisle or a blue glass paved aisle way
•     Put a blue flower in the flower girl’s hair
•     Use blue colored lights at the reception for your lighting
•     Use a blue garter or have a garter with blue on it
•     Have your wedding date and names embroidered to the inside of your wedding dress in blue thread
•     Have your guest’s sign in with a blue ink pen
•     Play music that features the word blue or is blues music at the wedding reception (you can have an MC announce it if you like)

“Sixpence in Your Shoe”

This is one tradition that is often left out of the old-new-borrowed-blue wedding tradition, but if you want to capture everything in this tradition or adhere to the superstition that it will bring your marriage good luck and prosperity, then you don’t want to forget that sixpence!

•     You can of course order a sixpence and use it traditionally by placing it in the bride’s shoe
•     You can have it sewn into the hem of the wedding dress
•     Attach it to the wedding bouquet
•     Use a lucky penny instead of a sixpence
•     Use a coin in the currency of the country you will be honeymooning in
•     Use a coin in the currency of the country your ancestors were from
•     Have a coin minted for the bride

Modern Wedding Trends That Are Building New Traditions

As you gear up to celebrate the union of your beloved family or friends or even your own know what to expect from the changing tides of weddings. Lizzie Post, co-author of “Emily Post’s Etiquette, 18th edition” and great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post, helps couples navigate the new traditions of weddings. As decades pass, so will traditions, but proper etiquette is timeless. Be prepared for the next wedding you attend and know what to expect from changes in the wedding landscape with these important pieces of advice:

Pay it forward. Finding the right gift for the newlyweds can be difficult. While registries help to point guests in the right direction, many couples are getting married later in life and already have all the household items that are common wedding gifts. To provide the couple with a small nest egg to use however they wish, a check is always a great and safe gift idea. Several financial institutions, like Bank of America, offer mobile check deposit through their banking app, allowing the couple the flexibility to deposit checks on-the-go to help cover outstanding vendor payments or use on their honeymoon. Another new-age trend is contributing to a couple’s honeymoon fund.

Temper tech use. Even weddings are going hi-tech. There are numerous websites available that can help the couple to organize the process, communicate with guests and share photos after the ceremony. But a few things, like a handwritten “thank you” note should steer clear of the hi-tech lure. In a gadget-driven society, everyone is carrying a smartphone. Couples can post a tasteful notice at the entrance of the ceremony location or in the program to remind guests to turn off their cell phone ringers and refrain from use during the ceremony. Some couples may actually encourage guests to take photos and share images via social media, but guests should respect their wishes and use phones only as a camera and upload images after the ceremony.

Respect personalization. Couples want their special day to reflect who they are and what is important to them. While previous generations traditionally wed in places of worship, many modern couples choose to tie the knot at a sentimental location, like where they had their first date. The decor, music and even the food and drink served at a wedding may have a personal story behind it. No matter how nontraditional the element may be, guests should eagerly partake in the festivities, acknowledging and respecting the couple’s individualization.

Be all-inclusive. In the past, bridal showers were strictly for the bride and bachelor parties were a men-only affair. Nowadays, these festivities are no longer gender-specific. Showers can be thrown for the couple in unison and include creative themes like “stock the bar” or “time of day.” Bachelor and bachelorette parties can also be conjoined to involve the entire bridal party in a destination event. For further etiquette advice on navigating 21st century weddings, visit www.emilypost.com. 

10 Wedding Questions You Didn't Know To Ask

When should I take off my veil after the ceremony?

Everyone loves to talk about the veil, but nobody tells you exactly when to ditch it. While it's perfectly okay to wear the veil for the entire reception, there are two optimal times to take it off. The first is after the ceremony (have your hairstylist show a bridesmaid how to do this without messing up your 'do), and the second is after the first dance while your guests are eating. Once the veil's off, stick it in your bridal suite or have it "decorate" your chair.

How should our wedding party travel to the reception?

We bet you and your groom planned a perfect ceremony exit where you hop into a vintage Rolls-Royce and ride off to the reception. That sounds great, but yes, you're responsible for getting your wedding party there too. If you're going casual and want them to simply drive over, let everyone know this beforehand so they can carpool. Otherwise, rent a stretch limo, go vintage with a trolley or let them be kids again by cruising in a budget-friendly school bus -- of course, feel free to tag along for the ride!

Do I really need someone to hold my dress while I pee?

This depends on the dress. If you're wearing a full-length ball gown, you'll probably need an extra set of hands to help hold up the skirt while you do your thing. Trust us -- the cost versus the benefit on this is a no-brainer. But if you're sporting a silk sheath and a posse pee makes you cringe, go ahead and handle your own business. Another tip: There's a pee-ready Spanx designed with a hole in, well, just the right place. We'll stay classy and resist the oh-so-obvious dirty joke opportunity here.

Is there an appropriate way to kiss at the ceremony?

Remember the day he proposed, and you saw the ring and the tears in his eyes, and then you two started making out like maniacs? Yeah, don't do that. But your first kiss as a married couple doesn't have to be just a peck either. Do what comes naturally, as long as it doesn't involve visible tongue and last more than 10 seconds. Oh, and don't do the dip thing either -- unless of course you want to look like you belong in a Hugh Grant movie.

What exactly do the bride and groom do during the cake cutting?
The cake cutting typically takes place after dinner when your bandleader or DJ makes an announcement (you can also do this). If you have older guests who might be leaving early, do your cake cutting at the beginning of the reception just before the first dance. For the first cut, your groom's hands are placed over yours as you cut into the bottom layer of the cake. The groom makes the second cut solo and feeds the bride, and then it's your turn.

Where do I put my engagement ring during the ceremony?

Wear the ring on your right hand or have your aunt or grandma hold it. If you want to wear your engagement ring for the reception, put it on during the ride to your venue or just before being announced. For Jewish weddings, it's fine to wear your engagement ring, and then exchange stone-free wedding bands if you want to keep with tradition. Also remember: The band is usually worn closest to your heart on your left hand.

Who lifts my veil?

While more and more brides are wearing a veil flipped back for the entire ceremony or not wearing one at all, the most traditional bride still wears a veil over her face. If you like to keep things classic, there are two options. One is your dad lifts the veil when he gives you away, "revealing" you to the groom (like you really need help with that one). The other is for the groom to lift the veil just before the kiss.

What side are we supposed to stand on during the ceremony?

If you're in a church facing the altar, the bride stands on the left side and the groom on the right. Guests of the bride and groom should follow suit, sitting on the side of whoever they know best or are related to (hint: tell mutual friends to sit on the side that has less people). For Jewish ceremonies, it's the opposite.

What's the best way to greet guests if I don't want a receiving line?

Yeah, we get it -- you don't want to stand around after the ceremony in an assembly line. Instead, greet your guests during the reception by going from table to table during the first course. Just make sure you have time to eat too! Also, make a short speech thanking guests for coming and give a shout-out to vendors and parents (or anyone else who helped pay for your wedding!). While this moment with the mic shouldn't take the place of personal interaction with guests, it can be a great forum to let them know how much their support means to you.

Can I take my shoes off at any time during the reception?

We've all been to the wedding where guests cut loose on the dance floor and ditch the heels. But it's a little different when you're the bride -- especially if you're wearing a formal dress. Instead of going barefoot, bring a pair of flats for dancing. If you're getting married in the summer, have baskets of flip-flops in your wedding colors for your guests to slip into before they get down. There's one exception to the shoes-or-lose rule: beach weddings!

8 Wedding Trends That Are Still Going Strong

2013 weddings were full of amazing trends, from metallic details to family-style tables to Gatsby glamor. We're getting excited to see what the next year will hold, so we asked wedding professionals from all around the country to predict which ideas will be even more popular in 2014. Check out the growing requests that they're receiving from brides!

1. Camp-style weddings: Weddings at summer camps are popping up more and more because there is ample space to accommodate overnight guests but also multiple venues (all conveniently located on one property) to host different pre- and post-wedding celebrations." Rider Strong of Boy Meets World fame recently got hitched in a camp-style wedding, and so did Matthew McConaughey.

2. The English garden look: Michelle Hoffner of Paper Antler photography is seeing a switch to more "locally grown wildflower bouquets" than traditional florist bouquets. Some brides are even including bouquet-making as a wedding weekend event!

Peach Orchid Watercolor Posh Wedding Personalized Invites by NoteableExpressions

3. Custom Wedding Invitations: Whether it is tweeking the colors so they match your fabulous scheme or getting a custom monogram designed specially for you - having the artist involved helps you make your special day even more special.

4. Shabby-chic seating: Jeni Maus of Found Vintage Rentals is receiving a lot of inquiries for mix-and-match furniture. She thinks "mixing couches, upholstered chairs and pews for the ceremony seating" will be a huge upcoming trend!

5. Non-floral centerpieces: Tabletops are becoming a pure reflection of the couple and not always being covered in florals. I see a table filled with amazing candlesticks and a romantic glow or geometric shapes and pops of color.

6. Bold-is-better lipstick: Danika Lamb of Artistry By Danika thinks brides in 2014 are going to continue "showcasing more ‘pops’ of color on their lips. Adding a bold lip that is still feminine and pretty is a fun change from the typical ‘bridal’ look."

7. Dramatic, short veils: Many makeup artists are getting a lot more requests these days for "voluminous bubble veils with a lot of height!" They’ll be sure to make more appearances in 2014 weddings.

8. Patterned robes for primping: Many are seeing more attention being paid to the "getting ready" outfits that bridal parties are wearing to be photographed pre-wedding. They’re predicting to "see more bridal parties in matching patterns in the coming year."

11 Wedding Trends on the Decline

It’s no secret that wedding trends come and go, and today’s modern bride is always searching for new, now, and next. Some trends are going out the window completely, while others are simply evolving with fresh twists on old traditions. Here is a list of 11 wedding trends on the decline.

1. Double-Sided Buffets: Many couples are hesitant about buffets to begin with, desiring the more elegant approach of a plated meal. Double-sided buffets may speed up traditional buffet service, but they do take up additional reception floor space because they have to be pulled away from the walls. This can encroach on space that couples could otherwise use to set up unique reception elements, such as a mix of square and round tables or diamond shaped dance floors.

2. Mashed Potato Bars: Who doesn’t love a mashed potato bar, really? This was a tough call, but we are seeing couples mix up their novelty food bars a bit– going with lighter fare, seasonal or regional options, and specialty cuisine (think sushi, yum)!

3. Strangers as Guests: Paring down your guest list to only your closest friends and family will allow you to stretch your budget. Skip the out-of-touch college friends from Facebook, inviting every coworker, or distant relatives– not to mention their dates, some of whom you may not even know. It also allows the couple to spend more time mingling, dancing, and taking photos with their smaller group of guests.

4. Large Bridal Parties: With couples marrying a little later in life, on average, the likelihood of having close siblings, childhood friends, college pals and work buddies to choose from for your bridal party has increased. Large bridal parties can add significantly to wedding expenses such as bouquets, gifts, hair and makeup, etc. They can also potentially make things more hectic on the wedding day, from getting ready to getting down the aisle. We think this is why bridal parties of more than three or four attendants on each side are on the decline.

5. Wildflowers: Here’s a trend that is not fading out entirely, but rather taking on new shapes. With the upshot in the trend towards brunch receptions and garden parties, soft and elegant floral is still in, featuring heartier garden-style cut floral than the daintier field-variety we have seen in recent years.

6. The Dollar Dance: We have received markedly fewer requests for the Dollar Dance at recent weddings. Some find it lighthearted and in good fun, while others find it flat out tacky to dance for a few dollars. As with all elements of your wedding, trendy or not, it’s how you look at it that counts!

7. Cupcakes as Wedding Cakes: Another trend with a twist, cupcakes are still going strong; however, the standard cupcake tower is being replaced by more creative displays, including miniature cakes and additional pastries (see next trend for details)!

8. Wedding Cakes as Lone Desserts: The lone wedding cake seems to be out of favor for now, with a variety of desserts such as pies, cupcakes, cake pops, tarts, cookies, macaroons, donuts and custom ice cream flavors joining the party. A dessert buffet ensures that everyone’s sweet tooth is satisfied. Opt for a setup with different levels of cakes stands or tiered trays against a decorative backdrop to really ‘wow’ your guests!

9. Standard Menus: This one is really on the hotel or caterer– as in, offering menus to prospective clients with the standard “one type of chicken” is out. Offering brides sophisticated and personalized options makes all the difference in securing business these days, so be sure to look for a venue that will work with you, within your budget, to create a more personalized menu for you and your guests to enjoy!

10. Bouquet and Garter Toss: This tradition will likely always continue in one form or another, but with many couples opting for more intimate celebrations, that may only leave one or two eligible bachelors or bachelorettes to participate. It’s something to consider ahead of time and perhaps opt instead to do a more symbolic, “honorary” toss to a special person (perhaps a sibling who is engaged).

11. Matching Bridesmaid Dresses: This has been on the decline for a while, but I wanted to give it a nod on this list anyway. Selecting bridesmaids dresses that coordinate in color or fabric, but with necklines, sleeves, and shapes to flatter each individual bridesmaid is not only chic, it is also greatly appreciated! Your girls will look their best and party the day away in greater comfort.

Winter Wedding Trends for 2013

Ornaments and snowflakes are standard winter wedding themes, but don't feel bound to them. Here, seven fresh ways to plan your winter wedding.

Winter Wedding Bouquets 

Low, lush arrangements made up of elegant white and ivory flowers mixed with pops of color, like bright-red amaryllis, and lots of wintry textured accents, like lamb's ears and thistle, are hugely popular this season.

 

 

Winter Wedding Reception Tables

Gold is big for table design, so this season wedding designers are finding formal wintry ways to deck out the tables in the pretty metal hue, like this table with a gold charger, menu card and flatware.

Winter Wedding Receptions

Floral designers and wedding planners are bringing the outside in when it comes to decorating the reception space.

Think: lots of candles and big branchy arrangements adorned with glowing votives and fresh flowers.

 Winter wedding Food

Consider your holiday food favorites and translate them to your reception.

Try cannoli wrapped in gold paper and served during the cocktail hour, or even warm, fresh-from-the-oven favorites like baked Brie drizzled with compote.

Winter wedding Dresses

Illusion necklines and embellished necklines and skirts (like on this sparkly Reem Acra dress) were all over the bridal fashion runways in October.

Winter is the perfect time to showcase this demure look.

Winter wedding Invitations

Beautiful calligraphy mixed with modern fonts like this one will reign this season. The best part: You can dress it up (with embellished belly bands and laser-cut elements) or down depending on how formal you want to go.

Winter wedding Cakes

Bold and beautiful cake designs are big for winter -- like this red-rose-bedecked white wedding cake. Also big? Flavors and frostings that call on the season, like blackberry buttercream or blood orange filling.

So what trends are you looking forward to using in your wedding this winter?

Second Time is the Charm

Marrying for the Second Time

http://jeremiebarlow.blogspot.com/2013/05/second-wedding-finger-lakes-ny-wedding.html

Planning your second wedding should be a source of joy, not stress, so don't worry about what you think you should do differently. Follow these suggestions and you can plan your dream celebration with confidence and ease.

Getting Dressed

Is it OK to wear white? Yes! When it comes to attire you call the shots. If you want white fru-fru lace with tulle and satin - go for it! You might want to rethink a full length train or veil but then again - it is up to you. If you are thinking about not having the traditional veil - why not go for a gorgeous tiara, flower crown, or fabulous feather headpiece?

Setting the Tone

You might think that a second wedding means that you have to stay modest or low-key, especially if your first one was elaborate. Second weddings do tend to be smaller, more intimate affairs but if you feel like throwing a huge wedding - then by all means - do! After all it is about celebrating your love and union - don't hold back.

Your Marriage License

In general, the same application process that you followed for your first wedding applies to your send - with one exception: you will need to take your divorce decree or if you have been widowed, a copy of your first spouse's death certificate. Call your local county clerk's office for specifics.

Prenuptial Agreements

Talk this one over with your attorney - a prenup might be a good idea if you have considerable wealth, own property that you want to keep in the family, or are worried about the financial future of your children. It can be a touchy subject, so tread lightly, but someday you may be thankful for that extra protection.

Premarital Counseling

This could be helpful if you have any fears about making the same mistakes that you may have made in the past. It can also help you gain a better understanding of each other's expectations for marriage.

The Honeymoon

Don't even think about skipping it! But should you bring your kids? You are not obligated to but if you want to plan a family vacation, try and plan one for later after you and your new spouse have had your own time together.

Tips for Including your kids in your Wedding:

• Most kids will jump at the chance to be a junior bridesmaid or groomsman
• Trust your kids to important jobs like greeting guests or handing out programs
• It's important to involve your kids from the start

Weddings and Technology

Besides slideshows, how are couples integrating technology into their weddings?

 

From the International Panel of Wedding  Planners and Designers:
 Kristin Banta
KRISTIN BANTA EVENTS / LOS ANGELES

Before the actual wedding day, couples are using technology in a number of ways.  Most couples are now building wedding websites to streamline where and how information is distributed. Additionally, many couples are now using Pinterest to put together their ideas and concepts in order to more efficiently and effectively communicate their vision to their team of collaborators.

Once the wedding day arrives, many couples are creating dedicated hashtags for their wedding, so that they are more easily able to find their family and friend's photos from their wedding on instagram and twitter.  Additionally, newly weds are often posting wedding albums to facebook days (or mere hours) after their weddings have taken place.


Kelly Hood
BOHO WEDDINGS & EVENTS / SHEFFIELD UK

Playlists using Ipods and spotify are very popular instead of using a DJ, instagram for instant images of the wedding across twitter and Facebook. Couples creating their own wedding websites for guests information as well as wedding invitations.


Saundra Hadley
PLANNING FOREVER / MIDWEST

Instagram is the latest craze to promote the wedding while it's happening. Creating signage that indicates the #hashtag to use so guests can participate in promoting wedding photos. We are also seeing Pinterest being used for wedding party collaboration in the planning process. Closes the gap between family members that live all over the world.


Wayne Gurnick
MOMENTS BY WAYNE / LOS ANGELES

Technology plays a very important part in the wedding planning because for most couples, it’s an integral part of their daily life.  It’s standard practice to use the web to research, find and purchase products and services – wedding invitations, party favors, accessories and even bridal gowns.  Couples are also setting up wedding web sites and registries online and using social media to communicate with family and friends.

Pinterest and other image sharing web properties help couples research and share everything wedding.  Some couples use video streaming to share their wedding ceremony with those that are not able to attend.

An exciting new way to use technology is instantly sharing Photo Booth images via social media.  Computer generated images projected on the aisle during the ceremony and on the dance floor during the reception are on my list of favorites – these capabilities are made possible and affordably by technology. 


Bruce Russell Chiason
BY BRUCE RUSSELL / LONDON

The most common request is couples wanting to broadcast their ceremony on Skype, so family & friends who can't attend are able to share in their special day. 

On one occasion, a couple had iPads on each table, which provided guests with details such as the evening's itinerary, menu, and entertainment.  They also had information about each guest at the table and how each knew the bride & groom.  Guests could also use it to record personal messages and take photos throughout the evening, sharing them on Facebook & Twitter.  It was fun and interactive.


Karry Castillo
UNIQUELY YOURS / ORLANDO

One of our client couples recently shared a mini- cinematic film prior to their introduction into their reception . The film highlighted how they met, dated, and proposed. The bride had an amazing dramatic flair and sharp wit which when combined with her stage experiences resulted in a comedic and heartfelt film. 

Past clients have also incorporated technology through live simulcasts of their ceremonies with family overseas, flipbook stations via The Flipbook People, photo sharing through Wedding Snap, personal wedding websites, same day video edits, and choreographed lighting for reception events just to name a few.

See the rest of the answers here: http://weddingindustryexperts.com/pd4.html

How are you planning to incorporate techy goodies in your wedding?

Your Wedding: How to Plan and What Does it Mean?

This new series called, Your Wedding: How to Plan and What Does it Mean? will be a series of articles giving you a 'quick reference' to keep handy - what happens first, who is invited to what, and who pays? Follow my blog to have easy access to all of them as they appear.

So, he popped the question and you said, "Yes!" What now?

• Announce Your Engagement
  Engagement season is upon us, and many of you ladies and gents will soon be changing your Facebook statuses from “in a relationship” to “engaged,” thus beginning a whirlwind of parties and planning and wedding wonderfulness.
  
  But first thing first: How do you tell the world that you will be marrying the person of your dreams? Whether it be a digital card, a mailed announcement or a simple social media update, this is a perfect time to show off your personalities and have a little fun - be creative!

• Set Your Budget
  The bulk of many wedding etiquette questions center around financial issues. In past generations, the bride's family paid for the majority of the wedding expenses. The groom's lucky family got off with just the rehearsal dinner, and the groom himself paid for the honeymoon, the bride's rings, and assorted other small expenses.
  
  That was then. Nowadays, with the costs of weddings growing and many couples marrying later when they are more likely to have careers and incomes of their own, more brides and grooms are contributing to, or even picking up entirely, the cost of the wedding. And the parents of many grooms are also contributing more than in the past; a popular option is to have the bride's family, the groom's family, and the couple each contribute one-third.
  
  
  For reference, the following is the traditional breakdown of expenses:
  
  Bride's family pays for:
  
      Engagement party (optional)
      Wedding invitations and other stationery (announcements, thank-you notes, etc.)
      Services of bridal consultant
      Wedding gown and accessories
      Flowers for ceremony and reception sites
      Bouquets for bridesmaids
      Music
      Photography
      Videography
      Ceremony
      Reception
      Bridal party transportation to ceremony
      and reception
      Family's wedding attire
  
  Bride pays for:
  
      The groom's ring
      The bridesmaids' luncheon
      Gifts for the bridesmaids
      Wedding gift for the groom
  
  
  Attendants pay for:
  
      Bachelor and bachelorette parties
      Gifts for the bride and groom
      (can purchase individual gifts or chip in on a group gift)
      Wedding attire and accessories
      Transportation to and from wedding town or city
  
     
  Groom's family pays for:
  
      Engagement party (optional)
      Rehearsal dinner
      Their own wedding attire
  
  Groom pays for:
  
      The bride's rings
      The marriage license
      Officiant's fee
      His formalwear
      Personal flowers: the bride's bouquet, boutonnieres for wedding party, corsages for mothers and grandmothers
      Gifts for the groomsmen
      Wedding gift for the bride
      Gifts for parents
      Honeymoon
      Transportation to the honeymoon

Next time: Guest Lists!

Wedding Tip Tuesday #54

 

Wedding Tip #54

Splurge on a new perfume - it is a great way to capture the day's memories. Every time you smell the fragrance, your mind will go to that special day.

I adore this idea! We know that smells trigger some of the strongest memories so having a special scent for this (and maybe each anniversary there after) is a wonderful idea!

Wedding Tip Tuesday #43

 

Wedding Tip #43

Guests remember two things the most about a wedding - the food and the music. Send them home with good memories.

As sad as it is sometimes, if you ask what people remember 5 years after a wedding - it will be the food or music that stands out most often. So don't take this part of your reception too lightly.  It doesn't have to be fancy - just yummy! Another way to be remembered fondly is to have great music. People love to dance at weddings - it is all about celebration you as a couple.

Over 100 Wedding Hairstyles & Headpiece Ideas

Here are some truly beautiful hairstyles to help make your wedding day special.

Honeymoon Spotlight: Paradisus Punta Cana

Set amid tropical gardens with magnificent views of the Caribbean Sea’s turquoise waters is an ideal honeymoon destination designed in perfect harmony with its natural environment. The Paradisus Punta Cana is a luxury all-inclusive resort located on on the idyllic Punta Cana Beach in the Dominican Republic. At this all-inclusive, all-encompassing, all-suite Caribbean playground experience thrilling unique island activities, a full-service spa and health club, casino, magnificent pools, and a pristine beach!

See more pictures here!

Wedding Traditions and Trivia

Traditions and customs... weddings are filled with them. "Something old, something blue..." and all that stuff! It's more than just trivia; Have you ever stopped to wonder what on earth all of these wedding traditions and rituals actually mean and where or how they originated?

Most of these rituals and traditions have endured the test of time, having emerged centuries ago. How fascinating is that? How is it that they survive?

These wedding traditions and customs have historically been maintained over the years and handed down through the centuries because such traditions carry with them the promise that they will bring happiness and good fortune to the couple at this transitional time in their life - and who could be brave enough to tamper with that?

But more than this, by including wedding traditions, customs, or rituals in your wedding, you can make it more meaningful by choosing traditions that speak to you in some personal way. It's almost magical to include traditions and customs in your wedding that date back hundreds of years, knowing that couples for generation upon generation before you have included the same rituals in their weddings. These traditions are the thread that ties us to history. They are like a gift from the past. Including some of these wedding traditions in your wedding will enhance your wedding experience, and at the very least, reading about them will fascinate, amaze, and maybe even amuse you...

Did you know that:

For centuries the month of June has been the most popular choice for weddings - but the original reason might surprise you. You see, during the 1400 -1500s, May was the month in which the "annual bath" occurred. Yes, just as it sounds, back then people were only able to bathe thoroughly once each year. As such, since the over-all population was smelling relatively fresh in June, it was a good time to hold a special event like a wedding! Further, the month of June is named after the goddess Juno, who was the Roman counterpart to Hera, the goddess of the hearth and home, and patron of wives.

Ancient tradition thought it was unlucky to marry in the month of May because in Romans times the Feast of the Dead and the Festival of the Goddess of Chastity both occurred in May.

To practice writing your new name prior to the wedding (and what bride doesn't do this?) is believed to tempt fate and thus, is also believed to result in bad luck during the marriage!

According to an old legend, the month in which you marry may have some bearing on the fate of the marriage:

"Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true;
When February birds do mate, you wed nor dread your fate;
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know;
Marry in April when you can, joy for Maiden and for Man;
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day;
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you will go;
Those who in July do wed, must labor for their daily bred;
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see;
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine;
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry;
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember;
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last".


It was thought that misfortune would come to those who married during lent - "Marry in Lent, live to repent" - because lent was a time for abstinence.

The tradition for the bride to wear white began in the 16th century and is still commonly followed today. This is a symbol of the bride's purity and her worthiness of her groom. The tradition became solidified during the time of Queen Victoria who rebelled against the royal tradition for Royal brides to wear silver. Instead, the queen preferred the symbolism which is expressed by wearing white. The brides of the time quickly emulated the queen, and the tradition has continued in full force to this day.

There is an old saying that "the bride wore a green gown". This implies the belief that she was promiscuous before marriage and refers to the image of her rolling around in grassy fields with a young man.

Traditionally brides have been thought to be particularly vulnerable to evil spirits. Many wedding customs and traditions were originated as an attempt to fight away such evil. The veil was worn with the belief that it would disguise the bride and fool the evil spirits. It was not until 1800 in Britain that the veil came to symbolize modesty and chastity. Today, the veil remains the ultimate symbol of virginity.

It is believed to be bad luck for the bride to wear her complete outfit before the wedding day. As an extension to this, some brides leave a final stitch on the dress undone until the day of the wedding for good luck.

The tradition of tying tin cans to the back of the newlywed's vehicle originated long ago when items which would produce noise were tied to the back of the couple's carriage to scare away evil spirits.

Cakes have played a part of weddings all through history. The Romans shared a plain cake of flour, salt and water during the wedding ceremony itself, as Native Americans still do today. The traditional fruit cake originated in Britain, with the fruit and nuts being a symbol of fertility.

Cutting the wedding cake together, still a predominant ritual at weddings, symbolizes the couple's unity, their shared future, and their life together as one.

In old England it was traditional to bake a ring into the wedding cake as a symbol of bliss and happiness. The guest whose piece of cake contained the ring, it was said, could look forward to a full year of uninterrupted happiness.

The custom of throwing rice at the newlywed couple was to symbolize fertility. In some cultures, it was not rice which was thrown, but rather small cakes or pieces of a crumbled cake. Today some still throw rice, but more commonly confetti or rose petals are thrown in place of rice due to a number of practical and environmental reasons - the symbolism remains the same! [Rice can be hazardous and often fatal to birds who frequently attempt to eat it off the ground. It is also very easy to slip upon, presenting potential for injury.]

It is customary, near the end of the reception, for the single female guests to gather around the bride who will throw her bouquet over her shoulder for one of them to catch. Originally, the bride would actually throw one of her shoes over her shoulder during this ritual. Tradition says that whoever catches the bouquet shall be the next to marry. She keeps the bouquet to ensure this destiny.

A parallel custom is for the groom to remove the garter worn by the bride and throw it back over his shoulder toward the unmarried male guests. Whoever catches it will reportedly be the next gentleman to marry.

"Something old, something new, Something borrowed, Something blue, And a silver sixpence in your shoe". This well known little rhyme originated during Victorian times and is still commonly practiced for good luck. Traditionally, the "old" would have been the garter of a happily married woman, with the thought being that her good fortune would be passed down along with it. The "new" stood for the couple's new bright and happy future together. "Something borrowed" was usually a much valued item from the bride's family. It symbolized prosperity within the new union, but would bring that good fortune only if it was returned to the family. "Something blue" came from an ancient tradition in which the bride would wear a blue ribbon in her hair as a symbol for fidelity. Placing a silver sixpence in the bride's shoe was to ensure wealth in the couple's life. Today brides often slip a penny inside their shoe before the ceremony in place of the difficult to acquire silver sixpence. As such, the rhyme is often adapted to "...And a lucky penny in your shoe".