Sunday, August 11, 2013

Your Wedding: How to Plan and What Does it Mean?

This new series called, Your Wedding: How to Plan and What Does it Mean? will be a series of articles giving you a 'quick reference' to keep handy - what happens first, who is invited to what, and who pays? Follow my blog to have easy access to all of them as they appear.

10 Questions to Ask Before Booking Your DJ


1. Is this your full-time business? Are weddings your primary focus? What clubs, lounges, and corporate clients have you performed for in addition to weddings?

Determine whether they are a well-rounded, successful entertainer who can bring a level of expertise and versatility to your event. You want to ensure that your DJ isn't a one-dimensional part-timer, but a true performer whose had varied and extensive experience performing in front of different (and tough) audiences. It's fine if your prospective DJ mainly focuses on weddings—some DJs perform at well over 100 per year—as long as they squeeze in some time for other types of parties as well.

2. How do you customize the music experience for each couple? Can you help with song lists and providing suggestions?

Find a DJ who will create a soundtrack for your wedding that is based on your style, taste, and vision for that day. One size does not fit all—if your desire is to have a mosh pit at your wedding, then you will need to deliver that and anything else you want, for that matter. A skilled DJ will gladly accept your must-play and do-not-play lists, no matter how short or long.

3. How do you get the crowd pumped?

There are all kinds of incentives that DJs use to encourage guests to storm the dance floor, whether it's asking couples to join the newlyweds for a good-luck dance or playing a meaningful throwback song from the bridesmaids' college days. Ask them how to get the crowd pumped, but, more importantly, listen to their music demos or watch wedding performances to get a sense of how they will interact with your guests in person. Interviewing prospective DJs is certainly helpful, but hearing them in action will really seal the deal. You want to make sure your DJ understands how to read a crowd, build up the energy and then keep it up. There should never be a lull—your DJ needs to have the ability to blend all sorts of genres to accommodate everyone and keep them on the dance floor.

4. How do you handle song requests?

There could be instances where the client directives are diametrically opposed to the guest requests. How a DJ strikes a balance to deliver on the couple's desires—while still satisfying the guests' requests—determines the skill and experience of the DJ. Some DJs (with the permission of the newlyweds) may tell party goers that they need to stick to their playlist, but they'll do their best to fit in their song, while others will appoint a bridesmaid or relative to screen particular requests (so that the DJ doesn't need to interrupt the new Mr. and Mrs. mid-dance).

5. Can I hear some examples of mixing and blending different tracks?

When mixing is done correctly, you probably aren't even aware of it. The DJ should be able to blend between songs seamlessly; you don't want guests to become bored by a ten-minute long Queen rendition! However, when this technique is performed incorrectly, you'll be able to discern it instantly: When there is no mixing or blending, there is awkward silence between songs (it's the same thing as your iPod).

6. What sound equipment do you utilize? Do you have back-up equipment?

DJ equipment is just as important as musical instruments. "Turntables allow the DJ to have hands-on control of the music and the ability to manipulate it instantly. A simple touch can change the sound, speed, and tone," said Sakoda. Ask if your DJ is certified and knows all of the ins and outs of connecting a system. We allow our equipment to operate without overdriving it, which is when guests start to complain about it being too loud (sometimes referred to as 'muffled' sound). When I play at
a wedding, you will hear every word, nice and crisp, at a moderate level; I guarantee guests will still be able to talk at their tables while others are showing off their latest moves on the dance floor. Backup equipment is also essential: DJs should always have the equivalent of a "flat spare" on hand, whether it be a microphone, computer, mixer, etc. Don't forget to ask how soon before the reception they plan to arrive and how long it will take for them to set up.

7. Have you played at our chosen wedding venue before? If not, can you make a site visit beforehand?

The sound varies drastically depending on the room where your reception will be held. Don't underestimate the importance of a site visit: The lighting technician at my wedding reception told me that they've had crises with brides who chose DJs that didn't know how to work the room's acoustics. The sound on the microphones was so poor that the tech couldn't understand the garbled instructions through his earpiece!

8. Do we have our choice of DJs to select from, or is one automatically assigned to us depending on date availability? What happens in case of an emergency?

We believe choice is important: No two weddings are alike! You should have a choice of top DJs that fit your style and personality, and have the proper experience and skill for your wedding. Spend some time with your DJ to answer your concerns in detail and make suggestions when called upon.

9. What other services do you offer (e.g. lighting, HD video screens)?

Some DJ packages come with extra services such as intelligent lighting and video screens. Next to lighting, video screens are our most requested option. I like to explain it as personalizing your day: Imagine watching memories roll by on the screens while you're sharing that first dance. Then, you can add a few photos to enhance the parent dances as well. Remember to get any details clearly outlined in your contract. Also don't feel pressured into signing up for extra amenities if you don't
need them.

10. Why should I choose you as my wedding DJ?

I always like to throw in a curveball to see what they consider to be their best attribute: Is it their amazing sound equipment? Their can-do-anything personality? Or is it their professionalism and dedication towards making your wedding a success?

Hopefully, all of the above!

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Fall Foilage in Brown and Gold Wedding Invitation

This beautiful and elegant design, called Fall Foliage in Brown and Gold Wedding, has a bright white background with a brown border. In opposite corners there are floral graphic elements in black and gold. Perfect for a fall, autumn, or a nature inspired wedding or event. This set has invitations, save the date cards, response cards, thank you cards, table number tent cards, envelope seals, wine labels, binders, and return address labels available. Use the envelope seal stickers for any of your DIY gifts - these are available in both large and small sizes!
Fall Foilage in Brown and Gold Wedding Invitation
Fall Foilage in Brown and Gold Wedding Invitation by NoteableExpressions
See other online invitations from zazzle.com.
5.25" x 5.25" Invitation
Make personalized announcements and invitations for every occasion! Customize both sides of this flat card for free.
  • 5.25" x 5.25" – A square alternative!
  • High quality, full-color, full-bleed printing on both sides.
  • 20 unique paper types and colors.
  • Standard white envelope included.
  • Postage rate for this size invitation (up to 1 oz.) is $0.66.
  • Printed in California.
Basic
A crisp professional paper with a smooth matte finish designed for vibrant full-color printing. 110lb cover-weight. 50% recycled content (10% post-consumer and 40% pre-consumer waste).

Friday, August 9, 2013

Your Wedding: How to Plan and What Does it Mean?

This new series called, Your Wedding: How to Plan and What Does it Mean? will be a series of articles giving you a 'quick reference' to keep handy - what happens first, who is invited to what, and who pays? Follow my blog to have easy access to all of them as they appear.

10 Questions to Ask Before Booking Your Photographer


1. Is photography your main business? What percentage of your work is composed of weddings?

First, you need to gauge how much experience a potential vendor has. Photographers' time commitments and skill sets vary—some only work part-time or might mostly photograph something else (e.g. portraits). This doesn't necessarily mean they won't do an amazing job as your wedding photographer, but it will give you a sense of what they will be able to contribute towards your nuptials. A busy full-time wedding photographer will probably shoot between 20 and 30 weddings a year.


2. How long have you been photographing weddings? Can I see a list of references and/or reviews?

This follow-up question is another indicator of experience and will reflect accordingly in the pricing. "I am often asked (usually by the father of the bride), 'What justifies your prices?' My reply is simple: 'Time.' I've been photographing weddings for 15 years, nine of which were my primary source of income," says Josh Lynn. References are absolutely critical—ask around (recently-married friends and other vendors you've booked can be great sources), read anonymous reviews online and speak to former clients.

3. Have you ever worked at our location before?

"It's often comforting for clients to hear that I have worked at the venue and even know the staff by name," says Lynn. If they haven't shot there before, ask if they would be willing to visit your venue before the wedding to acquaint themselves with the layout. Each location comes with its own unique advantages and challenges.

4. Will you be my photographer on the day of the wedding? What is your plan if you are unable to attend due to illness or unforeseen circumstances?

Some larger studios might book your appointment with a sales rep or agent. Ask to schedule a follow-up meeting where the actual photographer assigned to your wedding is present, so that you can get a sense of their personality and demeanor before you sign on the dotted line. Ask what happens in case of an emergency—it's crucial to have a solid back-up plan so that you're not scrambling for a replacement if they get rushed to the hospital or have to miss the event because of a death in the family.

5. Can we see a recent finished set of proofs from an entire wedding?

Samples are great, but seeing an entire wedding from start to finish is equally important to see how the entire day is covered. As you flip through the album, pay close attention to the style of the photography and make sure it matches what you had in mind for your own. Keep a mental checklist to determine that they covered all of the major moments (e.g. cake toss, first dance) as well as fun, candid shots. Think about the entire album as a whole—it should evoke your emotions and give you a good sense of that couple's wedding day.  "Make sure you see some printed photos when you meet with your photographer. You can make a bad photo look good online but things like out-of-focus shots or overly grainy pictures will stand out in an album.

6. Are you willing to follow a shot list?

Ask this wild card to check your vendor's temperature and see if they would be open to collaborating with you. I encountered one or two potential vendors who blindly told me to "just trust" them when I asked about a shot list, which was one of my red flags. There's a fine line: You want a photographer who is going to capture the details and guests that are most meaningful to you, while still giving them the freedom to live in the moment (which often leads to the best photos). Later on, AFTER you book, you can discuss specifics (e.g. discussing family dynamics so they know not to pose your step-dad next to your biological one).


7. What makes you different from other photographers? How would you describe your photography style?

Is it their photos? Their customer service? Their amazing and charming personality? All of the above? If your photographer can’t answer this question in a way that makes you see why they are different, you might have to ask yourself why you are considering them. Talk to the photographer about whether you want traditional portraits (posed group photos), photojournalistic action shots of the day's events, or if you fall somewhere in between and would like a blend of both.

8. After the wedding, when can we expect to see the photos?

Managing expectations is key to any successful vendor partnership in your wedding. "Your photographer is going to need to take some time to edit your pictures, and you should get clear time frames for when and how you will receive your images so you are not wondering where your photos are! Most photographers release the images in stages (such as a wedding slideshow, Facebook teasers, online proofs, and then finally a proofbook, if it's included in the contract).

9. What do your packages include and what will I have to pay extra for?

Photography packages vary drastically; some include a flat rate (e.g. $3,000 for 10 hours of footage) with a-la-carte extras (your album or a photography assistant) while other photographers may charge different levels of packages ranging from least- to most time-intensive (think: engagement shoots and bridal shower coverage).

10. How much of a deposit is required to hold the date? When is the balance due? What forms of payment do you accept?

Get down to the nitty-gritty of finances towards the end of the conversation, once you've had a chance to warm up to the photographer. Find out when the deposit is due so that you don't risk the chance of losing a vendor to another couple who's getting married on the same date. You can expect to spend about 12% of your wedding budget on photography, on average. ALWAYS make sure you get it in writing.

Do not deal with any vendor who does not offer you a written contract!

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Fall Colors: Burgundy and Red Branches on EcruWedding Invitations

This beautiful design is perfect for setting a romantic mood for your fall or autumn wedding. On the front is a beautiful rich ecru background with burgundy and red tree leaves on the upper half. Your customizable text goes in the center.
Fall Colors: Burgundy and Red Branches on Ecru Invitations
Fall Colors: Burgundy and Red Branches on Ecru Invitations by NoteableExpressions
See more Fall wedding Invitations

5" x 7" Invitation
Make custom invitations and announcements for every special occasion! Add photos and text to both sides of this flat card for free.
  • 5" x 7" (portrait) or 7" x 5" (landscape). Additional sizes available.
  • High quality, full-color, full-bleed printing on both sides.
  • 20 unique paper types and colors.
  • Standard white envelope included.
  • Premium Envelopments pocket folds, colored envelopes, and envelope liners available.
  • Postage rate for this size invitation (up to 1 oz.) is $0.46.
  • Printed in California.
Basic
A crisp professional paper with a smooth matte finish designed for vibrant full-color printing. 110lb cover-weight. 50% recycled content (10% post-consumer and 40% pre-consumer waste).
 

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Your Wedding: How to Plan and What does it Mean?

This new series called, Your Wedding: How to Plan and What Does it Mean? will be a series of articles giving you a 'quick reference' to keep handy - what happens first, who is invited to what, and who pays? Follow my blog to have easy access to all of them as they appear.

Choosing Your Bridal Party

Deciding on your bridal party can be like strolling through a minefield. Think before you act and tread carefully to ensure peace now, and for years to come.

Reconciling who you want to include in your bridal party with who you're expected, requested, or even told to include can seem like an ordeal. With friends and family anticipating or assuming they'll be asked, it's easy to get confused and resentful. After all, this is supposed to be your day, your way, right? Relax. Choosing your attendants needn't be a nightmare.

Prioritizing what's important is the key to arriving at a list that pleases everyone—even you.

Choices, Choices

The most obvious question is how many attendants to ask and who should be your maid/matron of honor. While etiquette books suggest one usher per 50 guests, protocol surrounding the number of bridesmaids is fuzzier (12, however, is the limit). "What's important is that you include those people to whom you feel closest. Also consider where you'll be standing at the altar or huppah, and how many people can fit on either side of you. Aesthetically, the same number of attendants on both sides looks best, but there is no rule that says they have to match.

Start by writing your wish list of attendants. Next, add your fiancé's picks, and those who would make political sense (your brother's wife to make him happy, for example). See if there are natural groupings that would make choosing easier: all sisters, all school friends, just one sister and one friend, etc. If your list is still unwieldy, consider the following to help you eliminate people or decide their role.

First, think about their responsibilities. The maid/matron of honor is generally the bride's right-hand woman before and on the day of the wedding. Her main duties include planning the bridal shower and helping the bride select her gown and address invitations. The bridesmaids assist the maid/matron of honor and bride. All typically pay for their own dresses and travel expenses.

Second, evaluate your needs and expectations. Is this a gala affair with many details you'll need help coordinating, or a small, no-fuss ceremony? Are you the type of person who surrounds herself with friends and needs a sounding board for every decision, or do you have only one or two close confidantes?

Do you expect your attendants to devote a significant amount of time and money to your wedding? Would you feel comforted knowing that all of your bridesmaids lived in town, mere minutes away for minor emergencies? If someone says she can't afford to participate, can you make up the difference (and not take it personally)? Be honest with yourself: Are your expectations reasonable? Will you get mad if someone can't help out as much as you'd like due to her work or family commitments?

Third, factor in the lifestyle and current situation of those you intend to ask, and how it meshes or clashes with their responsibilities and your needs. For example, what if your sister lives in Alaska and your best friend just lost her job, or if another friend is so swamped with work or a new baby that she barely squeezes in a phone call, much less time to plan a bridal bash. All these circumstances impact a potential maid's ability to do the best job possible. That said, even if someone can't be there physically, she may still provide valuable moral support. So decide what's most important to you.

Popping the Question

Now the fun part—asking people to be in your party. Some brides try to avoid disappointing anyone by asking people they don't really want to participate, assuming they'll say no because they're too busy or won't be able to afford it. Big mistake: This approach can easily backfire. Some people are so honored to be included that they'll move the world to make it happen. Only ask those you'll be thrilled to hear a "yes" from.

If there's someone you want to ask but are concerned she'll feel pressured by time or money constraints, create a scenario in which each of you would feel comfortable backing out gracefully. Let her know she's one of your top choices but you understand if she has other commitments that make it difficult for her to take part. If you're willing to cover expenses, ask her how she feels about that. If she knows how important she is to you, she'll probably feel flattered, not insulted.

If you expected a friend to say yes and she doesn't, don't be offended. Chances are it's no reflection on you. Your friend is simply doing you the favor of being upfront and honest about the time and money she wants to devote to your event, an occasion she respects enough not to ruin. It's important to keep perspective. Your wedding may not be the center of everyone else's year. So try not to let it come as a shock if you get turned down.

If someone does accept and later seems unhappy with her decision, try to determine what's really going on. Lynda was surprised when her friend Kathy suddenly began complaining about her bridesmaid dress. "I had to dig to get at what was really wrong," says Lynda. "It turns out that Kathy was afraid of standing up in front of a group. I let her off the hook by asking whether she'd enjoy the day more as a guest. She said yes and we were both relieved."

Blood Ties

Resolving conflicts with parents and in-laws isn't always so simple. Sometimes an edict is handed-down and that's that. For example, you may be told your sister will be your maid of honor, whether you like it or not. If you have a big enough party, it may not matter—a lot of your friends are included anyway. If you were planning on a small party, consider making it bigger to keep the peace.

Even if you can enforce your will and leave out a family member who expected to be included, consider the effect your stubbornness will have on family harmony. If you deliberately leave out someone your parents or in-laws want included, you may be making a bigger statement than you intended. Their conspicuous absence is a visible declaration of your rejection. When it comes down to it, would including this person really ruin your wedding day? Or will the repercussions of leaving her out sully family relationships for years to come?

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Wedding Tip Tuesday #96



Wedding  Tip #96:


Don't sweat the small stuff. Seriously, you are the only one that will know if something isn't right or what went wrong. 

Monday, August 5, 2013

Your Wedding: How to Plan and What Does it Mean?

This new series called, Your Wedding: How to Plan and What Does it Mean? will be a series of articles giving you a 'quick reference' to keep handy - what happens first, who is invited to what, and who pays? Follow my blog to have easy access to all of them as they appear.

  •  Create Your Guest List

You just got engaged, and over takeout and a bottle of wine, you and your fiancé decide to take a stab at your guest list. You agree to create ironclad "rules": First, no one is invited with a guest unless they are engaged or living together; second, no kids, except for those included in your bridal party. You're off to a good start—until your future mother-in-law calls to tell you how much she'd appreciate it if you'd include your fiancé's three second cousins, all under the age of 12. What to do?

Here, answers to some of the trickiest guest-list questions.

First Things First

Before you start jotting down names on paper, you and your fiancé need to come up with a number: an estimate of how many guests to invite. This, of course, will largely depend on your budget and on the size of your reception site. Sharon Naylor, author of The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette (Sourcebooks Casablanca), suggests that you then create four lists and label them "A" through "D."

Your "A" list should include those people, beyond close family members, whom you can't imagine getting married without, such as your college roommate and the friends you hang out with every
weekend. Aunts, uncles, cousins and high school friends you've stayed in touch with should make up your "B" list, while your "C" list should include coworkers, your parents' friends and neighbors you've known forever. Finally, your "D" list can tally up distant cousins, friends you've lost contact with and your parents' bridge partners. As your list grows and you need to eliminate people, start with your "D" list and work your way backward. It sounds awful, because you don't really want to rank the people in your life, but it does work well.

The Parent Trap

Sometimes Mom and Dad have a guest-list agenda of their own. Jennifer and Robert had dreamed of having an intimate wedding. But their dream faded fast as their parents' lists of invitees ballooned. The couple decided to take charge. "We told our parents they couldn't invite anyone that my fiancé and I hadn't seen in the last six months," says Jennifer. To keep the peace, Jennifer and Robert suggested that their parents keep a back-up list of people they could invite if others declined.

Make things clear to both your families early on. Traditionally, each family invites half the guests. However, if you and your fiancé are paying for the wedding, you may choose to divide your list in thirds: one-third for the bride's family; one-third for the groom's; and one-third for the couple. This is a neat formula, but real life may not be so simple. Sometimes one family takes on most of the expenses. If this is the case, you have to find an equitable way to divide the guest list based on this.
Once you do, give each set of parents a pre-determined number of invites, Ingram advises—and stick to it!

The "and Guest" Debate

Typically, couples marrying in their 20s and 30s have lots of single friends, which quickly raises the question of whether to invite them to bring a date to the wedding. It's generally accepted that any potential guest who is in a long-term relationship (6 months or more) should be invited with his or her significant other. Beyond that, forget about adding "and guest" indiscriminately to single friends' invitations.

For some going alone may actually be a golden opportunity to meet potential dates. Your single pals may prefer that possibility to scrounging around for an escort. You may just have a lot more fun on your own.

And what if someone sends back a response card that includes the name of a guest you didn't invite? (It does happen!) Simply explain to your invitee that you have, for reasons of budget or size of venue, kept your guest list to a minimum and, unfortunately, you cannot extend your invitation to her guest. That should settle the matter.

The Ex Factor

Although inviting an ex to a wedding is generally considered taboo, it might in some cases be acceptable, especially if one partner has an ex with whom he or she shares children. A lot of people end relationships maturely and keep in touch over the years and actually become friends. If you or your fiancé is in a similar situation, discuss your feelings. The important thing is that the couple make the decision together.

The Kid Question

You may think kids are great but not really want them to attend your wedding. If so, address your invitations to parents only—this should send the right message. Or maybe you want to invite only the children of your immediate family. You can avoid offending people by asking friends or family members to help spread the word about your decision.

Sometimes a compromise is in order. When Jill and Mike decided that their wedding would be a black-tie affair held at a high-end hotel, they created a "limited kids" rule. "We wanted only the children who were in our bridal party to attend," says Jill. "But we were prepared to hire babysitters for the children of our guests who were coming in from out of town. The kids and the sitters stayed at the hotel, and it worked out fine for everyone." If you decide to do this, consider supplying goody
bags filled with toys and games, and arranging to have pizza delivered. Another compromise: Set aside a separate area at your reception for a children's party, and hire one or more babysitters to oversee the festivities.

Office Politics

If you work in an office with fewer than 10 people, you probably know them all, and they've most likely been privy to your wedding talk for some time. In this case, the proper thing to do is to invite everyone rather than single out just one or two coworkers. If you work for a larger company, you can choose to skip the office invites altogether, or invite only your closest pals. Remember that if coworkers are married or have a serious significant other, you must include their partners in the invitation.

Should you invite your boss? That depends on your rapport. Lori decided it was the right thing for her to do. "I socialize outside of work with the partners in my law firm, so it seemed appropriate," she says. However if you have a more formal relationship, it isn't necessary.

Tough Calls

On the fence about certain people? Jennifer and Robert regretted their decision not to invite a couple they had lost contact with. Soon after the wedding, they started spending time with this couple again, and Jennifer says she felt awkward every time the subject of their wedding came up. Her advice? "If you're unsure, err on the side of being inclusive," she says. And, if you're no longer friendly with certain people from your past, don't feel obliged to invite them to your wedding just because they invited you to theirs. Also, don't bow to parental pressure to include people they know, but you don't. When trying to make tough decisions, ask yourself if the potential guest will be a part of your life in the future. "If someone still means something to you, you probably still mean something to him or her. Trust your instincts. That's how to make sure that you have the people you really want at your wedding.

Next Time: Choosing your Bridal Party